h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you feel someone is trying to manipulate you, what strategies do you employ to prevent it?

Perhaps of someone asks/tells you to do something you don't want to do, but you can't just answer "no" because of possible ramifications?

Are you recognising the language they are using? I'm guilty of - well, I don't call it manipulating, I call it knowing how to put the question in a way that the other person will respond favourably.

So for husband "it was a bargain!" for my mother "it's a family duty thing", and for my boss "this poses the least risk"

I guess I'd buy time, and say "i'm not totally comfortable with that, can I take some time to think about it"

Prevarication is always a useful tool, although in the face of a persistent manipulator it will only give you a reputation for indecision.

I suppose it depends what you are being manipulated into doing.

As Beatrice says, some form of manipulation is inevitable, and part of normal social interaction. Fundamentally, buying flowers after an argument is a form of manipulation if you want to take it that way...

So I would say the answer is I don't avoid being manipulated, but if what I'm being manipulated towards is not what I want and is important to me, then I will resist the blandishments.

Otherwise, does it matter? As long as you're lucid enough to see it for what it is?

sprout

If you recognise that you are being manipulated, then you are no longer being manipulated. QED.

B

This is politics course 101: first year introductory level.

Simply misunderstand or misinterpret what the other person is saying.

I often do this inadvertently. "Oh - I thought you meant..."

It's amazing how many things can be interpreted in two different (sometimes even contradicting) ways.

Stone aart, yes it is politics 101, so what is the name of the text we should read? I mean, doubtless there is a book called politics 101, but is there something for the individual to use for everyday life?

I avoid being manipulated by never directly interacting with other humans. Works for me.

I avoid being indirectly manipulated by cultivating a massively cynical attitude about every single visual and auditory stimulus I encounter.

In this way, one can be sure one is insulated from any undesirable external influence of any kind. Simples.

Yep, I can relate to that. However, I'll not be challenging your superiority (in that respect)

I don't know how much you are joking (probably not entirely) but I've noticed that some manipulators do encourage a lack of cynicism and use that to find a way through your armour. "Don't be so negative" is not just something they say to encourage you to be a better person, it's an attack on your individuality.

Quotes: it depends on circumstances. If you're a lazy son of a gun and are trying to shirk work then that might require a different strategy to one that involves an authoritarian slave-driver. If the manipulator is in the home then that's a whole new kettle of fish.

There are web-sites providing advice on "how to say no". From the information you have provided it sounds like a war; a battle of personalities:

"... you can't just answer "no" because of possible ramifications ... persistent manipulator ... to find a way through your armour ... it's an attack on your individuality."

http://www.forbes.com/2010/05/27/say-no-work-leadership-careers-responsibility.html

>>From the information you have provided it sounds like a war; a battle of personalities:

Yes, a specific example would be the battle of the sexes.

Hoov wrote...

"I avoid being indirectly manipulated by cultivating a massively cynical attitude about EVERY SINGLE VISUAL AND AUDITORY STIMULUS I encounter.

In this way, one can be sure one is insulated from any undesirable external influence of any kind. SIMPLES."

There are many comments I wish to make at this point, but the filter won't let me broadcast any of them.

It is just possible that the use of a catchphrase from a well-known nationally broadcast advertising campaign as the final word in a post boasting about how I'm not influenced by anything may be something we doctors call a "punchline".

Earth humour. Arr. Arr.

I'm fairly confident that the "battle of the sexes" does not, in fact, exist. Relationship strife is not confined to opposite-sex couples, though the particular ways it plays out in each relationship may be culturally mediated, which may work out differently for same-sex couples.

TRiG.

'May' be a punchline. Sure.

More likely to be a case of werbal diarrereorrearrreoa you are having.

B

First, Second and Third person perspectives:

I flow with the vibe.

You are easily influenced.

They are constantly being manipulated.


~jwf~

jwf you beat me to it! I was going to say

I am charmingly persuasive
You have a way with words
He is manipulative

In a relationship, it is simply:

I refuse to be manipulated
He refuses to grow.