h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some people are very good at buying presents, whereas I'm not, so I presume there are present-buying skills which I lack.

What are they?

My late husband was the most amazing present giver that I have ever known. Firstly, he adored shopping, real stores and online. He enjoyed spending money too, so he was very generous.

Lastly, he knew what your likes and loves were, and what you lacked, so I suppose he was good at observing and getting to know people.

Oh, and he would start literally months in advance, so he could track down the elusive gift.

The result was usually total amazement and joy when the person opened their present, for instance one of his daughters had spent a long time travelling, and hankered after Rocky Road chocolate bars, so he went online and found a supplier and arranged for a carton of various confectionary from the USA to be shipped in time for her birthday. There was much laughter when she opened it.

As lanza says: good observation skills, quietly watching to see what people like and picking up on odd little gifts that work.

The gift of the gab can help, explaining why you got such-and-such gift.

I do quite well at gift-buying. Part of the reason is I have deliberately degraded my impulse control. If I see something that will make a good present for someone, I just buy it, immediately. I've learned there's no point waiting, putting it on some list of "I must get that for X's birthday" and then forgetting and regretting.

If you see something that would make a good gift - get it NOW. In the past I've hoarded objects in anticipation of being able to give them as birthday gifts for up to two and a half *years* (landmark birthday gifts are hard to get if you only start thinking about them the month before.)

>>In the past I've hoarded objects in anticipation of being able to give them as birthday gifts for up to two and a half *years* (landmark birthday gifts are hard to get if you only start thinking about them the month before.)

You wouldn't want to buy anything too long in advance though, especially as you get older, because the recipient could always die in that time. It's very distressing wondering what to do with gifts you've bought a now-deceased loved-one.

Wow. That's about the most depressing piece of present-buying advice I can even imagine.

And I've learned a few things:
1. never mind the recipient could die first - *I* could die first. But I won't let either of those possibilities stop me because
2. it's fun to buy something for someone in anticipation of the pleasure they'll get from it. And that fun and anticipation is yours and in the bank, even if they then inconsiderately die on you before you get the chance to give it to them, in which case
3. you get to keep the thing to remind you of them.

I agree with you hoovooloo, none of us know how long we're treading this planet for.

I like your advice, as I have often seen things while passing that might make someone a really cool gift. Next time, I shall whip out my credit card and just buy it there and then. If wrapped and labelled it will be less easy to forget who it was supposed to be for as well.

>>3. you get to keep the thing to remind you of them.

I suppose some people must feel positive when it happens.
We didn't.

My mother is so old she has refused to buy green bananas for the last six or so years.

I worked Christmas 5 years in a row. Mostly it was fun, (people kept giving me cake for the entirety of my 12 hour shift...). But the saddest thing was seeing people dying with unopened presents by their bed.

When someone died in one hospital you would collect their property from the General Office at the same time you collected the death certificate. When I popped in to the office to do the death certificates there was a pile of unopened presents.

Dying is inevitable - it happens. But surely you cannot be suggesting that their relatives should have kept the money in case they died? I am probably reading you wrong there. Better to have an unopened present and a hopeful outlook than not to buy presents? I bet the patients were looking forward to opening them, what would they think if there were no presents waiting?

How did we get sidetracked here? This was supposed to be about good suggestions for buying presents

Choose me for example - I don't have my own home ( all my belongings are STILL in storage ) so anything useful for a house is out of the question. I bet I am about the worst person in the world to give anything to.

C'mon, what would you buy me? I could do with an iPad as I am too poor to buy one myself this year.

Oh gosh no!

Buying presents is good and hopeful. I just find it sad when they are not opened.

Lanza - to people in your situation, and depending how well I know them, I would offer something like: a meal in a fancy restaurant (such as this one http://www.unsicht-bar-hamburg.de/unsicht-bar-hamburg-v2/de/html/home_1.html [de]), a trip on a balloon or a horse carriage, a place at the theatre, something like that.

toybox *sidles up* You're my new best friend!

All of those sound fantastic.

Buying presents is very much about knowing the receiver. My husband early in our relationship took me to spend Christmas in France with his family. He hadn’t got me a Christmas present as he couldn’t think of anything to get me. I was terribly upset as I sat and watched his family open their presents. He now knows I’d rather have any present than none. He abhors waste and would rather have nothing than the uninspired.

I have no idea if I buy him good presents or not. He recently said ‘I want you to know I’m not wearing that t-shirt you bought me because I like it so much’. This puzzled me.

My mum is a terrible present giver but she thinks she is great. Every year she buys my husband a scarf saying ‘I notice you don’t wear a scarf’. He looks genuinely stunned every year as he opens it thinking ‘it can’t possibly be another scarf.’

We have my dad's christmas presents unopened and we're not entirely sure what to do with them. Nobody feels quite up to sitting and opening them.

I once got my mum a gift experience, but she was about to have her knee replaced and I wasn't sure what she'd be able to cope with physically afterwards. So I researched different experiences and presented her with a pack giving some suggestions she might like and a voucher basically saying I'd buy whatever experience she wanted when the time came. A couple of months later we were out shopping and she saw some crockery she loved. She decided she really couldn't justify the expense so I said "You know that gift experience...?" So I bought her the crockery instead and she loves it.

Mostly I'm rubbish though. Whenever I think someone might like something, the thought is immediately followed by "I bet they've already got one" or "I bet someone else will also think to get them that".

I used to love getting gift vouchers. Gift vouchers say to me "You must go out and buy yourself something nice. It's a voucher so it can't be incorporated into your everyday bills. Enjoy!".

Deb

One doesn't always get the chance to know the recipient well enough to have an idea of what a good gift would be. In my family, there are four generations. My brother's son is a teenager. My sister's grandaughter is about six. At Christmas or birthday time, I have to ask my brother or nephew for help in selecting a suitable gift. Help is usually forthcoming, and the recipients have been happy with what I gave them.

So, if you need help, ask for it.

Last Christmas, I figured that a 17-year-old boy would get all kinds of neat stuff from his parents, but he might want other stuff that they didn't give them. Therefore, cash would come in handy. I think I guessed right.

I got everybody cinema gift tickets and a bag of popcorn last Christmas.

And I have often bought gifts from Hawkins Bazaar - the best probably being the goblets made from Grolsch bottles.

Both of those were general, all-purpose gifts that practically anybody would be pleased to receive - always a useful fallback.

Hoo's advice about buying when you see it, rather than trying to remember what it was several months later, is good advice.

I also have no shame in buying somebody the same thing year after year (although only if I'm absolutely cast iron certain they want it - I wouldn't buy a scarf for somebody who never wears one). My best friends give me a box of a particular brand of fudge every year and it's my favourite present. And I usually buy my dad fudge every year.

My top gift-giving tip is never, ever, EVER, give *anybody* a vase, unless you also intend to provide fresh flowers every week for the next 30 years. Closely followed by never give anybody a pot plant, unless it's one they have specifically requested. Pot plants require maintenance, so what you have actually given is a present of *extra housework*.

Mol

What do you mean by "pot plant?" In my country, "pot" is a nickname for something illicit that people sometimes smoke.

Do you call them houseplants all the time then paulh? Am surprised.