h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You only have to admit it out loud, Mol. That's the one requirement.

You can drink, eat bacon, fail to give money to charity, whatever. Those just make you a not very good Muslim. Although note that there are many differences of opinion on this and I'm hardly a theological authority.

Well, hopefully the question mark and the fact that I typed it rather than saying it will let me off the hook then.

Mol

Ach, go on then, I admit it, I'm a Muslim. Pass the porkchops and lend us a fiver, eh?

Ooh! I see the provocative rape joke has been removed. I studiously failed to rise to the same old bait, myself.

Who was joking?

Neither big nor pleasant.

Not pretending or intending either.

Baptism today just isn't what it used to be.
John had discovered that new visions of the cosmos
could be induced with oxygen deprivation and a near
death experience (as anyone who has nearly drowned
or hyperventilated and held their breath while spinning
in circles can tell you).

Being held underwater can produce a life-changing epiphany
in regard to the value of life and fresh air. But somehow
the priestly classes have accentuated the Trust element of
the ritual. An important aspect of course but having little
to do with the effects of prolonged total immersion.

Water-boarding is the closest we have today to the original.
I'm sure Muslims don't appreciate being thusly baptised and
not just because their torturers don't realise what they are
actually doing.


~jwf~

It's not only Muslims who have been waterboarded:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LPubUCJv58

According to m'learned Muslim friend, the idea is you're a potential Muslim from birth but not a True Muslim. You're not a true Muslim until you actually Submit by proclaiming "There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his Messenger".

And the submission brings you peace.

Well as I've said, I'm no theologian...but the way I've heard it said is that everyone is secretly learning to be a Muslim if only they'd stop being silly and let go.

Same with everyone secretly being gay.

Go on - you know you want it.

learning -> yearning

I think the thing is that there's no presumption of guilt until proven innocent in Islam (as there is with original sin in Christianity). The default, newborn state is sinless and with God and you don't need special rites like baptism to wipe away any inherited evil.

"According to m'learned Muslim friend, the idea is you're a potential Muslim from birth but not a True Muslim. You're not a true Muslim until you actually Submit by proclaiming "There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his Messenger"."

Once you have submitted there can be no turning back. According to the Good Book Wiki, "The majority of Muslim scholars hold to the traditional view that apostasy is punishable by death or imprisonment until repentance, at least for adult men of sound mind."

"for adult men of sound mind"

Phew. I was worried for a moment there, but that's my get out clause right there.

Word!

Mol. Didn't find any, but Mrs Zen seems to still be speaking to me. Until I set my alarm for 5.45 am this morning.

THERE IS NO BOG BUT SPAGBOG AND SPAGHETTI IS ITS PASTA

JA PASTAFARI

@Stone Art:

Well, yes...although in practice there's often something of a 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' policy. Which doesn't help you if you're a Pakistani evangelical, admittedly.