h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

just a passing thought really
but who holds dinner parties any more?
is there anyone say under forty that regularly holds a dinner party?
so many people have lost the basic ability to eat dinner at a table and have polite conversation
are we becoming a generation that would rather sit with dinner on our knees in-front of the television?
are dinner parties gone for good?
a thing of the past too expensive to bother with in our own homes?
I'm not talking about going out to dinner, I mean in your own home, I will soon be twenty five, for those of you who care, and I have never been to nor hosted a dinner party, perhaps I'm just not the right social class for that sort of thing, perhaps I'm too young, perhaps no-one actually has them any more except for Christmas and that doesn't really count,

before I start to ramble

Anthea

I've had a couple of dinner parties, but then as my parents told me I am a pretentious idiot..

I don't know anyone who "does" dinner parties.

Perhaps it's because eating out is more popular now. Wasn't it more of a middle class thing in its heyday?

I've invited people to dinners once in a while, and they all say, ooh, we must do that again, and then they never organise the next one. I do enjoy having visitors, though.

Ooooooh. I do dinner parties. I love doing dinner parties. I do a proper Russian table, with the crystal bowls and the best china and a LOT of food and vodka. I even invite h2g2 researchers.

I'd do them more often, but people start getting nervous that I expect them to hold a dinner party in return. Oh and young kids make it trikier at the moment.

I have been toying with the idea of doing afternoon tea instead. Fifteen different types of cake! Ad an excuse to buy at least one proper tea service!

I do too - but come to think of it, have never been invited to a dinner party by people in the generation below me. I think people tend to arrange to meet in restaurants these days - which would have been more unusual when I was in my twenties - too expensive as a general rule.

You should start a new fashion DrAnthea.

For one last year, I made Spaetzle (egg noodles A63875794) by hand, for 14 people. And then someone told me it was "almost like dinner", except for the fact that it lacked potatoes.

So now when I have Irish guests, I just boil some spuds and leave the fancier things for more appreciative audiences.

But since I'm on a student budget, it tends to be less fancy table settings and more just finding enough plates that sort of match

I have a terrible weakness for fancy china. But I mostly find it on car boot sales and such.

One time I forgot we didn't have enough chairs for everybody coming. So we went for a walk round our neighbourhood and found enough chairs to seat everyone. They were great wooden folding chairs too. It really is amazing what people put out on the street as rubbish in a big city.

"So now when I have Irish guests, I just boil some spuds and leave the fancier things for more appreciative audiences" I did wonder about that. There was a thread about this before....Well, not quite. But maybe worth a look anyway. http://h2g2.com/dna/h2g2/brunel/F19585?thread=1187828&post=13643037#p13643037

I love cooking for other people, but our house isn't really compatible for mass dining, being a) small and b) a pigsty.

However, if anyone wants a guest chef for their forthcoming dinner party, I'm sure we could negotiate a reasonable rate.

B

I'd rather have a potluck.

That's what I do for hosting gaming sessions. Or burritos are great. Everyone can bring one component, tortillas, sour cream, cheese, etc. Everyone can put what they like on theirs, so no worrying about allergies, vegetarians, and so on. And it's cheap enough for students.

We do potlucks, but we sit at the dinnertable and it feels like a dinner party: good food, alcohol and good conversation.

I'd love to come to a Russian dinner party

Is there a difference between a dinner party and simply having people over for dinner? Because we do the latter a lot, but never think of it as a party. Anthea, have you never sat down with your extended family for dinner, maybe at Christmas? Is that different in your mind to a dinner party?

What I've seen an increase in is a party with buffet food, where people grab a plateful and sit/stand in informal groups; often with a 'potluck' element. This certainly happens a lot with under-40's.

<>

I'd like to know that, too. "Dinner party" to me smacks of sticking to a regulated seating order, having lots of different cutlery and coats on a hatstand in the hall.

Also - if you invite one other couple - is that "Having someone to dinner", but if you invite two or more other couples, or more than three individuals of any kind, are you "having a dinner party"?

I once had quite a big party - there were about 14 of us, but I made it a sit-down meal. This meant that some of the "formality" had to go by the board, because our dining table couldn't possibly put that many people up. We put beer benches in the lounge. So perhaps that's the reason for the dying out of The Dinner Party - maybe the size of peoples dining rooms (should they have one at all) might have put a damper on even the idea.

For bigger do's like the 14-seater above, I have been known to "hire" friends' kids and give them a couple of bob for filling glasses, clearing plates, serving and generally keeping on top of things in the kitchen. Win-win (they get some pocket money, and don't seem to mind the work, I get to talk to my guests instead of dashing - all sweaty - between hot oven and wine glass)

My daughters both have dinner parties quite often - but neither of them own a hatstand
The usual thing is that the host does the main course but other attendees bring starter, pud and cheese; that spreads the work and the expense.

The only thing that puts me off doing a dinner party these days is the requisite cleaning beforehand.

I used to have dinner parties. I would spend a day cleaning the house and cooking something fancy. On one occasion my husband built a temporary table big enough to seat 25. On the last occasion one friend turned up drunk and another hung over. Both of their husbands were obnoxious and sniped at each other all evening, before disapearing to watch the football.

I had to bring the evening to an early close to avoid throwing the lovingly prepared lemon mouse at them.

Since then I've stuck to having people over for dinner which is much more informal and means I can exclude partners.

It also means I can see my friends with children as the children get awfully bored in restaurants but are quite happy to play or watch a DVD. asking friends to get a babysitter so we can meet always seems unfair.

The whole partners thing

I've known women who've been excluded from dinner parties as a matter of course when they didn't have a boyfriend or husband. It didn't affect me because I moved in different circles, but it strikes me as a particularly nasty form of social control.

That does seem nasty. I suppose lone women are dangerous predators likely to pinch a man left unattended. Or alternatively to be needy and tearful....

Actually I've lived in places where single women are treated with that degree of husband-stealing suspicion The dinner party thing I always saw more as being about a middle class aesthetic that a single person at the table wouldn't match the china and napkins