h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, but the best bacon comes from Wiltshire.

I know.

But I'm not saying, so as to keep it that way.

Duck.

Oh, and Worcestershire.

Amazed nobody has mentioned Herefordshire yet - the best kept secret in the country! Gorgeous countryside, lovely food and drink, close to Wales. What more could you want

You could want Shropshire, which is, btw, the most geologically diverse county in England.

Yes, the whole Shropshire/Herefordshire/Worcestershire lump is some of my favourite country. Houseman country, I suppose. I've one or two lovely fossils that I found in the Silurian grey limestone on Wenlock edge - a Calymene trilobite and a Poleumita discors I'm especially proud of. I know they're not rare, but I found 'em.

You know, until I got to the 'next to Wales' bit above, I read Hertfordshire there.

"but but it's got Watford' has now had to be shelved But I'll leave it there dangling, just in case...

Wales isn't getting much of a mention. We did our ecological field trip for my biology degree basing ourselves in the uni at Aberystwyth.

It was fantastic going to the thickly wooded hills a few miles away..totally deserted..and following streams down to the sea. Some of the rocky coast nearby is great as well.

Hardly anyone around in these places.

It appears Aberystwyth is a county.

Another vote here for the 'Herefordshire/Shropshire/Worcestershire lump'

Herefordshire has one city and three towns, and that's it. The city of Hereford is most famous for its ring road which goes RIGHT THROUGH THE BLOODY MIDDLE OF IT!

B

There's plenty of towns here in Surrey with the ring road right through the bloody middle of them. It's not an endearing feature.

Well have a look at the North and South Circular 'around' London
I'm reliably informed that Hampstead Heath is a country park outside the City from classic literature

Wales is beautiful but then, I'm of Scottish descent and beautiful as it is, Scotland has more deserted, more wild, bigger and better frankly. Plus they don't complain as much as the Welsh...

Hampstead Heath is brilliant..and it has three natural swimming lakes...very clean and surrounded by trees and vegetation. Grassy areas nearby for picnics. One is women only, one men only and unsurprisingly the third is mixed.

Beats a swimming pool any day.

"Hampstead Heath ...natural swimming lakes......one men only"

Yeah, probably give that one a miss, thanks... never know what might be in there.

It's interesting that your mind went straight to gay sex SoRB. You know what homophobia *really* says about you, don't you?

Oh come on - Hampstead Heath? Men only swimming area? It's the first thing that crossed my mind and I'm certainly not homophobic

Yeah, but you were in the Navy. You know what water and a men-only environment does to a bloke

It's the "probably give that one a miss, thanks" that has me raising a quizzical eyebrow: the 'there might be gays so I'll avoid it lest they do unspeakable things to me' sort of attitude.

And it simply never occurs to you that the attitude might be

* "there might be gays so I'll avoid it lest I see something that turns my stomach"

* "there might be gays so I'll avoid it lest I catch something unpleasant"

Or even

* "there might be gays so I'll avoid it lest they make catty comments and try to imply that the fact that I want to AVOID them means I'm actually one of them".

You'd clearly really love for "homophobia" to mean people are actually scared of you. Sadly, speaking only for myself, I'm scared of spiders and cancer. You, on the other hand, have my pity.

Note also that in the phrase "there might be [xxx] so I'll avoid it lest I see something that turns my stomach", you can as validly substitute [xxx] with "fat people", "chavs", "football fans", "BNP supporters", "Tories", "hippies" or really quite a lot of other people. Don't, please, get carried away with the idea you're a unique special wikkle fwower wot the nasty man especially hates and fears. You're an unpleasant smell in the background at best.

Men only swimming?

I'll give that a miss too...

I do like looking at women in wet swimsuits...

Which is what I thought Twiggy meant rather going straight for the reason that could then be used for an attack on the person.