h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If my elbow itches, I scratch it.

If my nose itches, I scratch it.

If my left soulder blade itches, I make every attempt I can to reach it in order to scratch it.

Nobody minds.

So why, if scratching is such a natural instinct, nothing bad at all, am I not allowed to scratch an itch when it is contained within my boxer shorts?

It's not so much the act of scratching, it's the look of abject rapture on ones face that tends to get frowned on.

Try doing it without the facial gurning and see if you can get away with it!!



Also, and this is possibly the most important bit, do no sniff your fingers afterwards.... or is it just me?

I think it's the fact that you're touching your nether regions that's frowned upon.

Some don'ts:
Sniff fingers afterwards (thank you Monkey. You'd know... ).
Put hands INSIDE pants/trousers/shorts/kilt.
Lift your bits up and down or waggle them about.

From a woman who works almost exclusively with men, I can assure you that being reminded of your bits and having them waggled in front of me is really not appealing. One's eyes naturally follow the movement of the hand and we can generally see quite a lot of detail when they are lifted and nudged around. Sometimes it makes me want to giggle but that would be even ruder. It's not so bad in jeans and it's definitely worse in suit trousers, chinos and those thin summer shorts. If you can turn away, move into another room or similar then please, do!

By the way, all of the above applies even more so if you don't wear 'supportive' underwear.

What*s the old saying?

If you scratch (shake) more than three times it*s something else?

"Is you itchin'?"

'No. I is scratchin'!'

I'd suggest a hose pipe and a rub-down with a yard broom, followed by a liberal dose of flea powder.

if that works an application of gentian violet or iodine should do the trick.

Oh. And the reason it's frowned on? It's a purely selfish activity, and not one your colleagues can participate in. I t makes them



MMF

Dettol and a wire brush mi'lad!

>>if that works an application of gentian violet or iodine should do the trick.<<

If that doesn't work then an application of gentian violet or iodine should do the trick.<<

MMF