h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I tried the patches once but they didnt work, I could never get one of them lit.

*garrrr fanu, I will be performing here all week*

*shakes donation tin*

There may be some placebo effect. IMO, the best way to quit smoking (and the cheapest) is the way my mum did it - will power. She would wake up in the morning and say to herself, 'I will not smoke today'. She hasn't smoked in over 25 years. (There weren't any patches or gum around back then.) Alternatively, there's the way my father and father-in-law did it - end up in hospital for a few weeks. In my dad's case, he was in with pneumonia and he wasn't allowed to smoke. The first thing he did when he got out was to light up a cigarette. He felt as sick as he did when he first started smoking, so he gave up there and then. In my father-in-law's case, he was in with a back injury and found that he couldn't smoke lying down, so he decided to use it as an opportunity to quit.

If you need something to do with your hands, take up a hobby that requires your full attention and both hands. Just my

well done your family cheerful dragon I am trying the willpower route (despite seeming to champion patches, they dont work for me ) mucho respect to your mum, tis blinking hard!

I like Mark Twain's take on the subject...

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I should know, I've done it hundreds of times."

New Isotonic Sugarade - with 40% more Water than Water!Increases Happiness by 10%! as used by these famous people who thank sugarade for making the sun rise and who have a sugarade carrier bottle sewn into their inner thigh -for any emergency press exposure oppertunity!
Now with 33% more tasty flavour!
Filled with Vitamin Good! and Profalactin - which scientists believe actively increases your daily day.

Goddammit! The worst for stupidity are those yoghurt-drink B*LLSH*T things!!!
Yoghurt drinks = yoghurt + milk + a multi-vitamin. you really only have to have the mental ability of a Stop sign or higher to make yourself not buy these things.

I agree! They go on about encouraging the "friendly bacteria" in our digestive system. However, you probably need to drink a pint of the stuff every day to have any significant impact. Those tiny bottles contain hardly anything. And they can't say too much about the effect of the drinks for fear of making 'medical' claims, which they would need special trials to back up.

I've just been doing a websearch for probiotic products and their effectiveness. Apparently, the FSA has done research that calls the effectiveness of these products into question. It seems that not all the live bacteria in these things survive the digestive system, and that overall there would be little impact on the number of bacteria in the gut. So, if you want to take something containing 'friendly' bacteria, eat live yoghurt. It's cheaper.

I can't remember the exact wording but the small print on a bottle of Lucozade Hyroactive (I think) basically says that it increases hydration because it tastes nice - leading you to drink more.

I know you don't believe me but honest, it's true.

I've just seen the new anti smoking advert The one in a bar where a man and woman see eachother, kind of love at first sight-ish, he approaches, then quickly walks away once he's realised she's a smoker.

What's going through the advertisers minds? Lung cancer obviously isn't a big enough threat, let's tell them it reduces the chances of a shag too.

I'm expecting the label in the next pack of fags I buy to say "Smoking reduces chances of finding your one true love"

Sorry Footsie, but that one is actually true. As an ex-smoker, I see it from both sides. Stop smoking. You *will* pull more.

On the London Underound at the moment, there's an advert for a book. Can't remember what it's called. can't remember who it's by, because the tag-line on the adverts is "From the publishers of The Da Vinci Code".

Not the author. The *publishers*.

How wank is that?

It's obvious, really. We mention "The Da Vinci Code" on the adverts, people will buy *this* book.

Having read The Da Vinci Code (and I'd be surprised if anyone here wasn't aware of my opinion of it, but just in case...it's a pile of crap, don't waste brain cells on it)

What a heap of shit.. I look forward to the day when advertisers sell cocaine pills (whenever they're legalised...may be some time yet! ): "The same shape as aspirin pills!"

Shit, people buy teabags because they're "pyramid-shaped". Yeah, not after they've been squashed flat in the box. Which strangely they don't show in advertising-land.

I worry.

RF

It's true?!

You often see a movie advertised with "From the producers of..." though admittedly a producer does more to a movie than a publisher does to a book.

Footbacon: does the phrase "Like licking an ashtray" say you anything?

<>

That's what mints are for!

Unless other smokers aren't as considerate as me in that respect...

I have a problem with the Jamie 'I'm-only-a-cockney-when-I've-got-a-script' Oliver strawberry ad for Sainsbury.

"This must all cost more" says JO
"No, strawberries cost less than last year" says the Strawberry man.

I have a sneaking feeling this is due to external market forces rather than any benevolent act of Sainsbury.

You've reminded me that I had a dream where I got Derren Brown and Jamie Oliver mixed up.

What annoys me about the Oliver-Sainsbury's strawberry ad is that we're supposed to believe that he followed the strawberries every single step of the way.

You mean he didn't?

I'm shocked. Truly shocked.


Geggs

There's a job advert in the paper featuring Linda Barker (DFS or something). She says something along the lines of "DFS are great people to work with I've loved working with them for two years".

I wonder why.

I don't know. Do you think it might be something to do with the amount of money they paid her for doing very little?


Geggs

I feel vindicated! Boswelox is officially B*ll*cks. Just as I suspected.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1550401,00.html#article_continue

The Loreal website is funnier:

http://www.lorealparisusa.com/skincare/products/wrinkle-decrease/index.asp

So, Boswelox is basically Polyfilla (sp?) for the face. Hmmm.