h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've just seen an advert for a product called 1st Response in which the voiceover lady says "There is such a thing as being a little bit pregnant". That out-stupids* Boswelox!

What's the most ridiculous thing an advert has ever tried to tell you? (Though I doubt if anything can top that!)

*Can't think of an appropriate phrase - I'm in shock.

By far a distance the most supid advertis, which I've admitidly not seen in a while were the 'energy' advertis; for Powergen/British gas/electrical companys etc.... Which contained absolutely no content (in terms of trying to sell you a new product, or in telling you how cheap they are in comparason to the competition), but merely told you that as an electric/gas company, they could provide electric/gas the phone ones were simularly stupid now I think of it...

The one that makes me laugh is normally on channel 4. This big burly gangster type bloke says"had an accident" ...you expect him to say next "we can arrange it" I think it is for a solicitors.

Slightly off-topic, but I just heard the wonderful Kathy Burke do a voice-over for Ski yoghurt (a N*stle brand). I'm very, very, VERY disappointed.

I've seen that "little bit pregnant" advert! The most stupid advert I've seen in a long time

I hate that one where (I think it's about car insurance or a loan...) the husband is wandering around the kitchen and living room on the phone while his wife is eagerly listening in.

Makes me feel like getting the phone cord and wrapping it around their necks

I'm pleased it's not just me - I was beginning to wonder if my (albeit dubious) grasp of biology was slipping. I'm was pregnancy is a pretty black & white issue!

Is the advert you refer to the one where the GF/Wife is videoing the conversation? I read a post (maybe on H2G2, maybe elsewhere) where someone questioned why anyone would video such a conversation.

Ah, no, just remembered, 'twas in yesterday's Grauniad Guide.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,14669,1502081,00.html

I always hated the loan company adverts with the animated blue phone, where it asks "want a loan but can't get to the bank?"

You would have thought that if someone wanted to get something as important as a loan, they would have set aside enough time to look into all the available options. The way the animated blue phone tells it, we're all sitting at home saying "I need a loan in the next 8 minutes, but there's no way I'll be able to get to the bank in that time!" Essentially, it makes us out to be idiots.

Well, banks aren't known for their wonderful opening hours. And if you need a loan you might not have the money to miss out on work to go talk to the bank a few times.

Any haircare product advert in which they claim it makes your hair '(something) percent smoother!'

Hair products are possibly the worst culprits. In addition to 'smoother', they tend to promise to make your hair 'up to 90% stronger'. 90% stronger than what? And where's the evidence? I've never seen a reference to the scientific evidence. It's all snale-oil, I tell 'ya.

and ... speaking of hair products .... do you know what's the smartest piece of marketing ever devised?

It's two words on the label of most shampoo bottles ... "and repeat"

Use twice as much to make sure the product works

there are some great statistics out there. you might (if the company is feeling honest) find some more details, but i wouldn't count on it. (things like test of 8 people, 1/2 of which were the control group...)

possibly my favourite is "up to...or more" which looks good and says nothing!

lovely

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I think that's intended for when your hair's really manky as most "and repeat"s are followed by an "if necessary"

Anyway... the ones I hate are:
Cosmetics adverts where grammar gets chucked out of the window "You can get three times thicker lashes!"
Cosmetics adverts which claim to use advanced technology.
Youghurt drink adverts which imply that the 'friendly bacteria' in the yoghurt can improve your quality of life.
The new Morgan Stanley credit card ad (where the bloke in a pink shirt does dad dancing at the end)... Ben's a great bloke but the jammy git got to spend a week in Spain after doing that scene!

The J20 adverts that make it look like a drink for slightly manic born again christians.

I'd steer clear of any pub that was full of Stepford Drinkers like that lot...

It is amazing what shampoos claim to be able to do. Like the one with bubbles in it for curing hangovers. When will the first shampoo ad claiming to cure cancer come out?

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That's a new one on me...

It is from Axe/Lynx I believe. There are tiny bubbles in the shampoo which they say is pure oxygen. Claims it will be released when you shampoo with it, and the oxygen will help refresh you.

Pure oxygen? Nah... big greasy fry-up, a cuppa, two paracetemol and plenty of water. THAT's a hangover cure.

I'm so pleased that frog ringtone advert has died off...

The teddy bear's creeping in more though. Thankfully it's not quite as annoying.