h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My lady friend is sporting a self inflicted thumb stabbing injury to her face which she says she did during the night. I was in my own bed in my own flat, so this is NOT a case for the police.

I have never injured myself sleeping.

Any self inflicted sleeping injuries out there?

PP

Nothing out of the ordinary, useually its very sore eyes, or rather a* very sore eye in the morning where I've obviously scratched/rubbed at it during the night. and the one time I cut myself in bed with a sharp knife... but that was more down to my forgetfulness at leaving it layong the bed before I went to sleepy

I've kicked walls quite hard once or twice and had incredibly sore (but not broken) toes. And Sunday night past I must have done something to my index finger, because I've barely been able to bend it since then.

Either that or the arthritis is kicking in *much* sooner than I would like...

Spookily enough, I was going to post something similar today. I woke up this morning with the most painful wrist which is sore to move in any direction. I can only assume that since it's cold, I've been sleeping for hours with my wrist tucked up with the duvet under my chin and strained it. Bloody sore though!

"with my wrist tucked up"

Had to read that bit twice.

But yes, it's bloody sore isn't it? And frustrating when you don't know for sure what caused it!

Many years ago, I lived in a cottage in the country near some woods. I used to love watching the bats swooping through the trees and around my garden at dusk. I always slept with the bedroom window open and could hear them fluttering about. One night I awoke suddenly with something cold and clammy at my neck. I absent-mindedly brushed it away with my hand but it settled back at my neck again. A little more awake, I tried to throw it away from my neck but, after a pause, it came right back again.

I lost it. I seriously freaked out. A bat was at my neck! I pushed it away again and leapt out of bed, throwing the quilt on the floor where I thought it had landed and ran out of the room yelling my head off. My dog, startled by the sound was barking furiously and trying to get in the bedroom and as I ran out I tripped over him. I put my arm out to break my fall but it just gave way under me and I broke my tooth on the fireplace. Meanwhile my dog was scurrying around the bedroom and I was yelling at him "catch the bat, catch the bat". He never did and that was the last night I slept with the window open.

Years later, now married, I woke again with a cold & clammy thing at my neck. My heart started pounding as I slowly reached to push it away... only to discover it was my own hand! I had fallen asleep on my side & given myself a dead arm. When my wife came to bed I had rolled over and my arm had flopped down with my hand at my neck. Of course, every time I pushed it away, it flopped right back.

So no, I never did have a vampire bat at my neck.

Ha, whenever I mentioned my sore wrist today, I got lots of double looks and a nod in Hubbie's direction!

But being an inveterate duvet hogger, it's the hand tucked under the chin, wrapped up in several layers of duvet that was the culprit!

Oh I know that one well, Deakie. Hubby likes it cool but I don't

I usually wake up with a minging back due our six year old still climbing into mum and dad's bed at silly times of the night and wrecking my sleep pattern!

I'm a bit of an experct as well ast the wrapping onself up in duvet and creating hands and legs which have no feeling in them whatsoever by the time I wake... A handy bit of advice for any other men (I describe myself as such in the loosest possible terms), don't wake up, with a dead hand from sleeping on it, realise your in a hurry to be somewhere and immediately start shaving yourself... a dead hand can't shave succesfsuly

I've woken up with a dead leg before, which didn't "die" until I took a few steps on it. Not good when you make it to the top of the stairs before it kicks in.

I am an active sleeper. A very active sleeper.

I manage to rotate my duvet through 90° (or perhaps 270°) every single night.

And I sometimes wake up sitting up at the foot end of the bed, so I've learned to keep the window there closed...

No truly serious injuries so far, though my sister refuses to share a tent with me

Damn damn damn, now I'm frightened to go to bed... And just as I was beginning to finally stop worrying about the monster under the bed....

I once dreamed I was in a wheelchair... my legs were paralyzed, couldn't move them at all. I tried to get up, but I fell...

Then I woke up. For a moment I was glad it was only a dream... until I realized my legs were REALLY paralyzed! I couldn't move them, couldn't even feel them. It was horrible.

In a panic, I switched on the light...

... and there was this little angel in a nightshirt, golden curls and all, my seven-year-old daughter (the one that's an active sleeper, obviously!), lying across my legs, peacefully asleep.

Except for the ocassional dead limb, there was a period where I, for some reason, tried to squeeze through my headboard. This happened several nights in a row and left me with a bruised forehead and a stiff neck...

When my arm acts up, I often wake up with loss of feeling and very limited control of my fingers... Then I know it's time to do something about my posture when typing at work!

It makes it tricky to put on makeup, and impossible to use the tweezer on those maverick eyebrows

I wake up sometimes with a sore ear, due (I presume) to head movement in the night folding the pillow-side ear in half.

RF

I dreamt about you last night/ And I fell out of bed twice.

If I start muttering aggressively in my sleep, my wife has learnt to wake me before I throw a punch.

Oh...and I once shared a room for a night with the brother of a friend who 'had a habit'. That's the only time I've ever seen someone *literally* climbing the walls. Feet first.

As the bones in my neck are very unstable, I have to be careful not to lift my head too quickly from the pillow, or I will trap a nerve and end up stuck in the bed!

This is a real eye opener. I hadn't realised that sleeping was so dangerous. I don't think I'm ever going to sleep again.

PP