h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I never mentioned what I dreamed about. Are you telepathic or what?

Shona runs in her sleep and I've gotten up, drunk a cup of tea, which my mom had given me and then lain back down again. My mom told me about that as apparently I had a conversation with her which made absolutely no sense.

While I was a student, I once woke up with such a start that I kneed myself in the chest , and reaching out to switch off my alarm, I slammed my hand down not on the off switch but rather on my glasses, artfully removing both lenses from the frames.

Then - I fell back asleep.

I woke up again let us say 20 minutes later, wondering why my chest hurt so much and then when I put my glasses on, why I couldn't see.

Slowly a vague dream-like memory came back of events eariler that morning began to surface from my unconscious and realising then what had happened to my glasses I began the hunt, half-blinded remember, for my *transparent* lenses which were somewhere on the floor.

By the time I arrived at breakfast, I was feeling fully flustered and discombobulated with life in general and all in favour of ging back to bed for a bit.

I tried to explain what had transpired to my friends, who much as I suspect this post will similarly achieve, greeted my story with hoots ridicule mounting to disbelief.

Knowing just how it is when you can't find your glasses, it made me laugh.

makes me remember when i had round 'john lennon-glasses' way back then and woke up and could hardly see a thing

the very same morning i went to the eye doctor who examined me thoroughly and couldn't find anything wrong

well, nothing more wrong than usual...

then he checked my glasses an found that they had turned some 90 degrees in their frames, because (as i already explained, didn't i?) they were completely circular...

- your optician even made marks on the glasses so you could see how to have them right, he explained

- big deal, i answered. - when i don't wear them i can't see those marks

(haven't had round glasses since...)

What if your mind was trying to release tensions you have but are not sure or aware of.

I think non-glassians like me often underestimate the inconveniences spec wearers face every day. If I needed glasses, I'd probably be constantly sitting on them, leaving them on trains and scratching them.

Not to mention them steaming up every time you come in from the cold!

To explain I have for some time favoured glasses with fewer and fewer amount of frame.

Currently I have 'frameless' specs - no more parallel bars obscuring my vision - however at the time of the anecdote, I was on a kind of design which used a sort of under-wire system the lens was held in place by a wire running inside of a groove which ran around the rim of the lens.

The point of the unnecessarily detailed description is that if sufficient pressure was applied to the frame, it was possible for the lens to spring out, catapulted by the tension in the wire from which they were suspended.

A similar tale, this time involving alcohol, was the time when having had a very enjoyable night out, which would have successfully ended if I could have negotiated the front door made it up the stairs and into bed.

However this plan faltered at the first hurdle: having managed to insert my key into the lock, I rotated my wrist 90 degrees to the right and simultaneously turned with my head and body with it. Result was that I fell over as I turned my key and my head landed on the concrete steps that led up to the building, I lost both my lenses adding to my already blurred vision.

And that time it was dark too.

so now we are dividing the population of the into glassians and non-glassians?

well, i've heard worse

i was born a glassian. well, almost. can't remember not having been one. and about forgetting where i put the glasses, falling asleep wearing glasses, coming in from the cold and all that - yes, i remember

but having worn them for over 50 years now i am so used to it that i seldom have any problems any more. lightweight frames, lightweight plastic glasses (that even turn dark as it gets brighter) have made life easier over the years

but just this summer i fell from my bike and lost my glasses in the woods. had not my friends been there with me i would prolly still crawl around searching for my glasses with my hands

I have two pairs of glasses, one for normal use and 'reading' glasses. I rarely use the reading glasses unless I'm a reading a book. For newspapers, letters etc I just plonk my normal glasses on my head. The number of times I've consequently wander around the house looking for them in varying states of is many

i also have two pairs: one for just seeing things, the other for w*rking wit puters

I had a dream so annoying the other night that I dreamed my alarm clock was ringing and woke myself up in self-defence

Dreaming about the alarm clock is dangerous - I've managed to get out of bed, get dressed and go down for breakfast before realising it's still only 5.30am, and my alarm won't be going off for another hour!!

i did this on a saturday once

well, at least it taught me to turn off my alarm when not needed

Not long ago I had a nightmare which made me wake up laughing . I can't remember what it was about, but I think I must have been pretty scared, and laughing was an over-reaction .

Well, did you ever wake up
With them bullfrogs on your mind?
Well, did you ever wake up
With them bullfrogs on your mind?
You wake up laughing,
Laughing just to keep from crying.

I remember waking up with a big smile on my face feeling really cheered up. I love that feeling...

When it comes to laugh - everybody tells me that I laugh when I'm asleep, even if the next morning I don't remember having any funny dream.
I can be so loud I wake the other person but strangely I never wake myself up... Maybe it's a different kind of snoring?

i remember winning the lottery

and then wake up