h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Someone tells you that drinking tea or hot drinks will cool you down more than drinking cold ones.

You see headlines such as "Phew! What a scorcher!"

More please

The rain's warm.

F

Every time you get in the car you stick to the seat and the steering wheel is just too hot to grip.

you cannot peel yourself away from leather seats

When the UK is hotter than India!

when ice melts as it peeks out the fridge

and when underwear sticks like cling film

It’s too hot to be near another human being.

...All you hear from the UK is about how deathly hot it is every time the mercury takes a little trip over thirty C.

But you know how we like to moan about the weather over here.

when your gran says "oooh its too warm for me, i like it to be warm but not this warm, its clammy isn't it, yes its clammy weather"

It was so hot yesterday I saw a pensioner with the top button of their overcoat undone.

and i saw a pensioner taking off their very tight jumper, which was strategically placed over their long sleeved shirt?!

some wit suggests we would all be better off if they installed network sockets in the park so we can work outside.

Fan rage. Coming to an office near you soon.

... people start asking if it's hot enough for you.

........you hear the phrase "Yes, but it's a different *kind* of heat abroad".

... you can't hear the sound of the whirring fan over the racket from the cicadas.

The sports tutors are seen leaving the gym and heading for their offices in the HQ building. (It's the only place on campus with air conditioning.)

..someone says "It's not the heat, it's the humidity"

...there's a very pleasing amount of exposed lady flesh.

Liam.

You stop drinking beer and get curiously tempted by an ice-cold bottle of cider.

Worrying, quite frankly...

B

*yikes*

Liam.