h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oh yes, I forgot.

I once called Prince Edward an arrogant, timewasting idiot on the phone.

You should have seen my mum's face when I told her who it was on the phone

Ok then...

I was about ten miles away from this when it happened...

http://supertankers.topcities.com/id112.htm

Oh, and on being rude to the Royal Family - I once had the pleasure of turning away Prince Andrew when he wanted to come into our office onboard a ship.

ooohhh there should have been some punctuation in there somewhere

Careful there i've only just had that wall plastered.

>> Oh, and on being rude to the Royal Family - I once had the pleasure of turning away Prince Andrew when he wanted to come into our office onboard a ship. <<

Why do people think it's big and clever to be rude to people?

RF

The Royal family are people and here's me thinking that was Soylent Green

RF, I was particularly gratified to be be rude to Prince Edward. His company had jerked me around for two months and cost me a fair bit of money. He had been instructed to call me and fob me off. He was totally condescending and uncomprehending of the fact that being nearly £5000 out of pocket was a big deal for me. In the light of that, if all I could salvage out of the deal was to tell a Prince of the Realm what I thought of him & his Company ............

errr.


Should have been on uni challenge missed a callback

Played in a support band for Clare Sweeney

I was on (aprently) a fly on the wall show about Manchester police, I was standing in a take-away


Lisa Tarbuck was groped on my back gate in Lisa Green


I'm prossibly in shot on an episode of Cutting It


I'm in the background of a few British superbikes podium celebrations on BBC coverage

In one 250cc british championship round at Brands Hatch I was the only person sitting in on grandstand and I ws shown every lap (or at least my legs were)

THe camera focuses on my after God Only Knows on the Pet Sounds Live In London DVD (when they focus on just 3 people, that's me and a mate, and it wasn't in London, it was in Manchester)

I am Sparticus

No,I'm Spartacus.

I'm Spartacus, and so is my wife.

RF

Michael Douglas had a very short-lived career as a stand-up comedian. Many years ago, he was dying on his feet in a London club. Exasperated at the unresponsive audience, he stopped his act and walked to the edge of the stage -

"Don't you know who I am? I'm Kirk Douglas' son !"

Never slow to miss an opportunity, one member of the audience stood up and said, "No, I'm Kirk Douglas' son" followed by another who repeated "No, I'm Kirk Douglas' son" and so on.

It was the best laugh he raised all night

That story works better and is more believable (who wouldn't know who Michael Douglas is?) if you tell the *true* version: that it was ERIC Douglas, his lesser known brother:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0235040/

And...

http://www.comedystoreplayers.com/cgi-bin/wotw/797.shtml
http://normblog.typepad.com/normblog/2004/08/not_spartacus.html
http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/interviews/article.html?in_article_id=420&in_page_id=11

For many comedians it is the legendary "best heckle ever".

SoRB

Hubby and me were on " The Time, The Place" with John Stapleton (in the audience, me sat next to Geri Halliwell cut out, hubby next to drag queen - interesting) and my great great grandfather founded Anchor butter!

My great grandfathers brother was the Danish prime minister.

I once had my picture shown in a local paper showing me in a diaper sitting in a table in the library. I was young and innocent.

Kirk, Michael, Eric - seen one, seen em all

At least I remembered the gist of it

One of my ancestors led an army that beat the English.

Actually, direct proven descent on my wife's side - our family tree runs out at 1630

You mean you're going to die in half an hour?

Yup.

But I'll nip into my at 1629 and come back at 1631

I like the Dougals anecdote. I'll be using that!

My ewif's dad (now no longer with us) was a friend of Bobby and Jack Charlton.

No, he grafted a bit of Triffid to his Acacia and every afternoon it scoots of outside to scare the birds.