h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was talking to Paul Mcartney this morning, and he has specially selected you to receive this special offer of ten great Beatles albums for ten monthly instalments of £10.

Two weeks later

I have discussed this offer with George Martin, and he has given me permission to offer you this great offer for ten monthly instalments of £8.

Two weeks later

After much discussion and consideration of your case with Paul, Ringo, George Martin and the chairman of this company, we have decided to offer you these albums for ten monthly instalments of £7.50.

The Sun.

My other half told me that a plane had flown over the Big Brother house with a message on a banner. I knew straight away it was gonna be financed/organised by the Sun.
Why did they have to get involved?
Why do they think they are voice of the people?
Why do they think they have the right to barge in with their own agenda?
Is it jealousy of some sort that they're not receiving financial reward from the show?

The way Richard and Judy condescend to their viewers. Question today. Which instrument did Ringo Starr play in the Beatles?

A: Harpsichord
B: Drums
C: Digeridoo

Tough one.

I have to step in here - that's not Richard & Judy condascending. Lots of tv shows use exactly the same technique for giving away prizes. It's basically a raffle - loads of people will ring in with the right answer and one will get picked out of the hat. But in order to avaoid gambling regulations, they don't make it a simple raffle, they turn it into a quiz. However, in keeping with the raffle idea, they make it so easy that everyone will have a chance!

Yeah, but anyone with an average level of cynicsm will work that out, but they keep on with the pretence.

And charge you ridiculous amounts if you are foolish enough to phone in for the quiz.

It is my belief that these shows get a 'kick back ' from Telecom who make a fortune out of the thousands who ring in with the answer.

When people drive around in the fog with their park lights on, they're ment for parking, so that people can see your tail lights, not for driving. It doesn't cost anything more to turn them on all the way, and then they can be seen. They might be able to see where they're going but can others see them?

Also people who don't dip their headlights quick enough.

Breakfast at B&B's.

They always give you a useless piddly little glass of orange. I can't start my day until I've downed a pint of liquid.

Oh yes.

It is really, deeply annoying, when you close a window, because you can't remember why you opened it. Remember in a few seconds time, and have to open another one, the purpose of which you promptly forget.

people that ask you to pass them something, when its blatantly easier for them to do!

Aye, and people who expect you to run to get the phone when they're sitting not a metre away from it.

The way every item in TV shows these days seems to be fragmented into multiple parts over an hour or longer.

Street singers who can be heard half a mile down the road and are clearly the only ones who find themselves entertaining.

Taking a bottle of spirits to a party and having about twenty people assume they are the only one who has asked you for a small shot.

Comedians who think they have to pull a silly face every time somebody takes their photo.

People who give you a funny look if you are polite to them.

Kids TV presenters who clearly think they are the DB's just because a few gullible kids idolise them.

Advertising agencies who make adverts that are awful, and when they realise that the ads are counterproductive due to the public hating them, they send up the advert in attempt to make it look as though the badness was part of the joke.

Dramatisations in TV programs!

It may or may not be historically accurate, but having a couple of people in togas prancing around like ninnies adds nothing to the program.

???

'well paid' lottery presenters probably do want to win the lottery. im sure they havent got Xmillion up their sleeve as free spendable cash.

soap stars apearing on the front of TV mags, them being TV stars on TV mags and all, are 'in character' duh!

record companies would refer to well known stars by their first names, everyone knows who mariah and janet are!

heres one that bothers me- people that make a list of things that bother no one becuase there is nothing in them that would bother anyone.

I hope you dont loose too many friends or too much respect when you make your speach.

From the opening post:


"What are Petty Hates? Well, normal pet hates cause irritation and are justified. Example - not being thanked for opening a door for someone, or toast landing butter side down. Petty Hates are just as irritating but are more trivial and you may not be able to quite put your finger on why they are irritating."

So, if I am irritated by the pen on my desk but don't know why, and know that nobody else would be irritated by it, it still qualifies as a petty hate and can be included in the thread.

Hi, churchills_ghost

I believe you have just come across h2g2's very own brand of insanity. This whole thread is rather tongue-in-cheek. I very seriously doubt that when Spinks makes his speech, disgruntled audience members are going to walk out muttering "Really, how crass! I shall have a word with the managment about this!" and other such utterances.

Releasing our petty hates on here saves people being forced to listen to them in real life. And the wonderful thing about a forum is, you don't have to read it if you don't want to. We would love you to stay and contribute , indeed, I believe you already have but if not, don't spoil our fun is all we ask .

quote:<<>>

absolutely agree on that one.

some weeks ago there was that charity-quiz-show-thingy with “comedians” as candidates on telly. and when they were introduced to the audience with a close-up each, all except one pulled a stupid face. and the only one of them weirdos who really deserves to be called “comedian” was the one who did not make a stupid face.

why do those strange people think it’s funny to make a grimace? wake up, it’s NOT!!! it wasn't even funny at the age of 10! and why the heck are they non the less successful as comedians???

katkodl

Aye. They're trying to be funny, that's the thing. Two problems: they're not funny, and they don't know how to be funny. Stand-up comedians don't commit the sin of trying too hard to be funny, they just are. Clowning isn't so funny, and pulling faces comes into the category of clowning.

That is my 'humble' opinion, anyway.

Clowns ... *shudder*