h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I belong to a public speaking club and plan to write a speech on "Petty Hates". Where better to look for inspiration than on the net? What are Petty Hates? Well, normal pet hates cause irritation and are justified. Example - not being thanked for opening a door for someone, or toast landing butter side down. Petty Hates are just as irritating but are more trivial and you may not be able to quite put your finger on why they are irritating. I'll kick off the list:

-Well paid lottery presenters who pretend they need to win the lottery.

-Soap stars who try to act in character on the front of TV mags.

-Record companies who start referring to established stars by their first name only..Mariah, Janet etc.

Yep, they're that petty but still thoroughly irritating. Contributions to the list are invited. I might even go mad and submit them to the guide. Happy moaning

People who don't belong to a certain culture trying to pretend that they do. My Mum constantly calls the Red Hot Chilli Peppers "The Chilli's"...which makes me want to scream.

Tautology!

In my organisation we have things called Unit identity Numbers (UINs) which people will insit on calling UIN Numbers! It gets right up my nose!

"it's" being used grammatically incorrectly to mean "belonging to it".

I had to write out 100 times at school "i-t-apostrophe-s can only mean it is" so I don't see why everyone else can't get it right

People who complain but do absolutely nothing about what they're complaining about. Well, maybe that's not petty, but it ticks me off.

People who wear clothes they really *shouldn't.* There's a reason tube tops aren't made in extra-extra-extra large.

Grammatical mistakes in official documents. I think I found one in my passport application. Pitiful.

Ooh. I hate halternecks. They are so trashy.

Farting in a normally deserted room, only to have the very last people on earth you want to walk in, walking in...

On the flip-side, if you're feeling a little lonely, i've always found the above an excellent way of ensuring immediate company

Celebrity obsessed newspapers. Coronation Street character gets written out, and its front pages of a tabloid. You can argue that they're not a quality daily, but then again, they're still a NEWSpaper!

Knees! Strange i know..but i hate knees!..theyre jut all nobbly and annoying!..oh and err Kare Winslets teeth!..dont know why but hey drive me mad! petty enough?...

Now my typings gone all mad again! i of course meant to say just ..not jut ..n kate not kare!..Thats what happens when you try to type n eat your tea at the same time!

Cats - they have an attitude problem.
Graffiti - It's tatty.
Litter, especially broken glass - ditto.
People who have American accents from watching too many movies but aren't actually American.
Boy racers - I despise them with an intensity bordering on psychotic... AARGH!!
Trance music - especially when good classic songs are murdered by some DJ who decides to turn them into some feeble electronic fizzle.
People who talk with their mouths full.
People who eat ungracefully.
Excessively baggy trousers.
People who moan constantly but don't actually have anything to be upset about.

Ooh. Poseurs. I don't care if they think they're cool, they don't look like they're having fun and it bothers me.

People who consider Harry Potter literature.

Blondes who run around in their pj's all day at school with their hair in a pony tail but otherwise perfect-looking and complain that they feel like crap and must look like it. Sure. Sure you do.

People who won't leave you alone when you are in a bad mood....They are just asking to get their heads bit off...and you have to apologise to them later.. (can you tell what sort of a day I've had?? )

Thin people who say that they are fat.

OR...even worse...

Thin people that complain they can't put on weight.

Actually, my roommate has that problem, but she's got a thyroid problem that makes her metabolism crazy... pisses me off since I'm on the pudgy side, but I often tell her she can have some of mine.

Girls who walk up the high street with their arms folded and a "cross" look on their face.

people who post within the first ten posts with a link to where 'this has been discussed before'

Not to offend anyone personally, but people who have user names on h2g2 that relate directly to h2g2 or some other sci-fi thing. Get some personality and creativity, people.

do you mean h2g2 the books or the community?

Misuse of PIN (Personal Identification Number)...it is *NOT* a "PIN number" - that would make it a Personal Identification Number Number (I've thought about this too much haven't I?)