h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi guys and gals

I've been given a very very large tin of tuna (passed to me with the words 'it's only a small catering tin') by someone I know.

The tin is 1.7kgs and drained of water the tuna weighs 1.3kgs.

While I like tuna, I'm not sure I will ever have enough bread to make a large enough sandwich with, and my husband is allergic to fish.

So my question is - what should I do with it?

Will animal shelters be able to use it? Can I feed it to urban foxes?
Does anybody know of any local tuna parties that might be in need of some supplies? Shall I sell it at high price to the local deli?

All ideas appreciated here - this really was an odd 'gift'.

cheers ismarah

You could make lots of tuna pasta bake and freeze it in individual sized-servings. Then you'll be able to eat it once a week for a few months...

I also figured I could make a very large tuna casserole and bring it to work to share with colleagues.. damn allergies, damn husband!*

keep em coming..

cheers ismarah

*not really, he's a good sort.

That's a lot of tuna!

Can't offer anything other than kelli's suggestion at the moment... unless you make big batches of tuna mayo to use in sandwiches (depends on if you can freeze it with mayo). You could also use it in a Salad Nicoise (a *big* salad!).

Do you know anyone who's likely to want a hot tuna melt sandwich? That might be another idea...

Good luck getting rid of it all!

Make a tiger trap.

I don't suppose you've got any Albatross chicks nesting in your garden have you.

No, thought not, oh well.

My mother-in-law keeps telling me about the hard old days when she'd go to the market on a Saturday with my now husband in his pram and pick up a sack of vegetables of all different kinds. Then she'd spend the Sunday peeling and bagging and boiling and freezing, so much so that her hands would turn orange from the carrots. (This always invokes great hilarity as this is a woman whose treasure chest of diamonds is worth a small fortune nowadays.)

I'm trying to imagine what colour my hands will turn if I spend an entire weekend sorting out various tuna dishes. Oh, and the smell will surely be lovely too! (Don't you hate how your hands smell after you've been crushing garlic or chopping it up? Onions are bad enough, but garlic is even worse!)

No albatrosses in my garden, they've not been eaten by the trapped tigers that aren't there. If you catch my drift.

So current consensus seems to be eat it, but very slowly?

cheers ismarah

Can't you give it to the Salvation Army - I'm sure at this time of year they'd be glad to receive enough Tuna to feed a couple of dozen homeless people.

my old cat would scoff it in about 30 minutes he's a tuna monster. I'm sure any charity that deals with homeless people would be glad of it as a donation.It would make a lot of sandwiches.

Very good ideas all - thank you
I'll be bound to use one of them..

cheers ismarah

I think Rains said it first - a giant salad Nicoise party is the answer! (Cook something else for Mr. Ismarah to enjoy.)

RF

A quick calcuation suggests that in something like a pasta bake, or nicoise salad, that's around 18 servings. I think the thought of haveing 18 pasta bakes in the freezer would put me off them for life. I wouldn't be inclined to make more than 4 or perhaps 6 if I was going to eat them all myself. Where I work, I'd be able to bring in a big salad for lunch and have 10 or 12 people eat it, but that kind of thing very much depends on your circumstances. Using it for a party meal at home would be a bit odd if you husband doesn't eat it, unless you have a range of dishes, whre the numbers problem would arise again. Otherwise, I'd advise you to freeze a third in a pasta bake, then give the rest to the Salvation Army/homeless shelter or whatever other charity you know locally.


Azara

I'll be happy to take it off your hands And any chicken you might have lyin' around too I can arrange for a pickup. You know where to contact me

ReddyFreddy - I think you'll find that my husband isn't Mr. Ismarah, he's DancingTree. We have a system at the moment, where neither one of us has taken on the others' name either in real or virtual lives - works like a charm. (except when I constantly have to spell mine)

As to the tuna - I'll probably end up taking it to the animal sanctuary that we went to visit a few weeks ago in our ferret research - tuna is good for ferrets and they have plenty to eat it.
I did think about a homeless shelter or something, but to be honest, I don't know of any around here - we live in a kind of rich git area. I'm very sorry to be so ignorant - homelessness is kind of new to me, foreigner that I am.

cheers ismarah

The solution is simple. Put aside a weekend in the near future and declare it Official Tuna Weekend. Your task is then to eat nothing else but the tuna until Monday comes around. A suggested menu would be:

Sat
Breakfast - Tuna, in a bowl, with a spoon
Lunch - Tuna, on plate, with knife and fork
Dins - Tuna to start (small bowl with fork), followed by tuna on big plate

Midnight snack - Tuna, straight from tin with fork

Sun
Breakfast - Tuna, lightly toasted
Lunch - Roast tuna with Yorkshire tuna
Dinner - Remainder of the tuna, with a spot of pickle (optional)

Thinking about it, you should probably make sure you have monday booked off work too. You will probably need it.

Buy it a piano, 'cos you can tuna piano, but you can't tuna fish

arf arf arf arf boom boom!

Is that why we get flat fish ?

You're sharp toady, naturally!

whoops today, not toady
defective fingers!

Just stringing along, talking of toads we've got a pond brimming with copulating frogs, jump to it