h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a bizarre query, but here goes...

I'm interested in growing a mustache - no particular reason, I just fancy doing something a bit different. The trouble is, I've got no idea how mustaches work. I mean, how long does it usually take to grow a respectable-looking one, as opposed to just ugly little tufts of hair? Is there any sort of special maintenance required?

Thanks in advance for any help that can be offered!

Jamie.

Hello,

Well, it depends how old you are and how much you shave. If you can go several days without shaving, you probably can't grow a nice moustache or beard yet, or so it seems to me. Of course, I'm a clean shaven man, so let's see what other people think.

One thing I do now. A Salvador Dali style moustache will not impress people as much as you might think.

Yours,
Jake

Salvador Dali? Would that be the thin twirly one? I shouldn't think there's many people who could get away with that...

There are probably more bad looks that go with mustaches than good ones ....

BAD MUSTACHES

Charlie Chaplin
Hitler
Salvador Dali
Jimmmy Edwards
Ron Mael
Grouch Marx
Barbara Cartland

GOOD MUSTACHES

Magnum

I have a moustache, but then I have a beard to go with it (goatee). Isn't a moustache on its own a bit of a dodgy fashion statement nowadays? No offence meant, its just you might end up looking like Freddy Mercury or something...

I used to alternate between growing my beard and then completely shaving it off as maintenance is much more of a pain than simply shaving, this has now changed as I have some hair clippers like they use in hairdressers, a nice grade 1 shave of it every now and then and voila
Maitenance *is* essential though, unless you want to spend all day chewing the bits of hair that grow downwards into your mouth

Oh no, chewing the dangly bits at the corners of your mouth is half the fun. That and finding crumbs-snacks. Yummy.
You will have to re-think drinking from wide mouthed jars, but this is something one should do periodically in any case.

Drinking is also interesting

Any one read 'The Twits' by Roald Dahl? That will put you off facial furr forever

FABT

Cream in a moustache is horrid. When my wife has got cream in hers she says that she can smell it all day. More as the day goes on.

Serious point about residue in Moustaches. As a beard owner of the last 24 years (my children have never seen me without, nor has my wife and I couldn't imagine being without) even small residual bits of things like cream DO stay with you. Washing face after meals is to be recommended (I too have a No1 beard and am not unusually messy when eating. Try eating a donut without licking your lips!)

Do we want to consider the effect of *r*l sex on a moustache. Or conversly, of a moustache on o*a* sex. Oh come on, the growing of a moustache is essentially an adult subject!

No comment

None required.

Everyone (well, at least the male half of the population) should have a go at growing a tash and/or beard at least once in their life.
Comb it often(every time you comb your hair) - to get the crumbs out and to stop individual whiskers standing up.
Wash it often(every time you wash your hands) - to keep it sweetsmelling and so that it's soft and silky enough for the aformentioned adult pursuits.
Trim it often - or get your significant other to trim it for you. It definitely should not impinge on the upper lip.
Don't smoke - unless you want a ginger tash.
Hev fun ()

i agree about dodgie fashion statement with tash on its own full facial or nothing i think is the key to looking good.
down here in the south u.k the goatie is a high fashion statement at the moment people are now growing them to approx five inches i'm not to sure about this i keep thinking zztop.
Hope you enjoy your tash how ever you decide to wear it.

I always thought it odd that the only member of ZZ Top without a beard is called Frank Beard ?

Red

Worried me inordinately.

Beard does have a 'tache though doesn't he?

I would agree about growing a tash on it's own could be misconstrued. I don't know what sort of age you are or what marital status, but it must be remembered that some women can be initially put off by facial hair.

So can some men.

Well, Freddie Mercury had not complaints....

Tell us more please Mr PP about this wondrous stash. Is it of handlebar proportions? Full lip? A caterpillar? Manchurian? Does it successfully disguise nostril hair (there-by eliminating the most arduous cosmetic task the mature male of the specious can endure)?
And do you wax?