h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

His job in the city sewers ended when he got smell shock and succumbed in the stenches.

After a day of changing her triplet's nappies, the new mother was feeling rather pooped

When the skunk drives, his mileage is measured by the odorometer.

and what was Betty Boop singing about - poop poop a doo ? did her have the runs

A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.

Sign on a broken perfume bottle, "Out of odour".

When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses they have a mid-wife crisis.

He reminded me the speed limit was 60, but I didn't understand, he was speaking a mile a minute.

he said put your foot down ? but I've no feathers on my feet ?

You can't put shoes on mosqui-toes.

Sexual harassment is a real problem on Carribbean islands; those hands of bananas get everywhere, and as for the palms...

There's rotten fruit everywhere the mangoes.

Not even men are safe - there was one on Okra recently, complaining about ladies fingers.

I meant safe from attack - only Ugli fruit get left alone.

That sounds like something not to be trifled with.

I told her I'd got desert disease = wandering palms, she then hit me as I proved it

Here's a tip: A good way of spotting stowaways in your crew is to shout "all hands on deck"

That's dealing them a blow.

all hands on deck! I've a full house - kings over 10's

Appointment tomorrow

Where?
Ye c
Olde Caff

When & Who?
Harper St Leven