h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

To help rinse various unpleasant tastes, ya know.

I've left the other thread, having spake my position.

So, have you buckled any swashes today? Boarded any bountiful ships or shopping carts? Anything particularly daring and bold?

(arrives in, huge bag of odds and ends, 8 gallon stone jug of grog, parrot, curious collection of eye patches and headkerchiefs, blankie, teddy and a banjo, and plonks it all, dusts self down and looks about)


well this looks a bit nicer than the last place.. you got a tankard?

oh, and i aint buckled nowt... yet

but i'll be the first in there if something needs buckling. u just gimmie the nod!

are we bringin the quare fella with us? (puts 2 fingers in mouth and gives a shrill whistle..)
oi!!! isiah or whatever ye calls yerself... get in here!!!

Oh yeah, I gots me a foin tankard. Lots of maidens of the sea carved into it and everything. Mind you, some bits and bumps have kinda wore-off from many years of use.

I don't know if the other gent will follow or not. I expect he will soon enough, and I've no probs with that.

And ya know, that parrot is looking a bit the worse for wear. Was it such a good idea to toss 'im in the sack first, and the banjo right on top? He's looking awfully "strung" out.

he's an 'ex parrot'
he is no moah
if ee weren't nailed to thee perch ee'd be pushin up the daisies by now.


so 'ee dont mind couple 'undredweight o stuff on top of 'im.. see??
(brushes him off and gives him a good shake by his legs... ) good as new

I see. An 'ere was me thinking that perpetual glassy stare was a sign of his profound depths and wisdom.

I've done did leaved a note for Isaiah, in case his own exploits and tribulations allow him a return to the wires. Ya see, he does have a young Mistress and Master in 'is 'ome. And their needs rule.

I've frequently been of the school of thought that all kids ought to be stuffed in a barrel, fed through the bung, and only let out once they's about 30 or so

mmmmm you might be onto something there
(takes out short stubby pencil on a string tied to belt and jots down.... "barrel, small-boy-sized, x 2")

i've been in work since 9 and it is now 4 and i am still waiting on our "super efficiant" i.t. dept to fix my log in problem and let me get on with my work.. so if i get caught on hootoo when i should be working at least i can argue that it's keeping me awake!!

you in work then today?

Yep, I am. You're on the same time zone as England and Wales? If you are, then I'm usually in around 11:40 your time-frame, for a 12:30 official start. It gives me time to have a relaxing and read up the on-line news. Then into the working day ...

Natchurlly, that is also the better time to sneak in to h2g2. Our 2,000 users or so aren't yet hogging all the bandwidth.

aha. one of these that goes in to work early, just because.......

not like me, skidding in sideways at about 9.05 and still have to make my tea and crank up the 'puter..

goin to a funeral of best friend's mother this evening. and it's cold weather for walkin behind a hearse.. guess who forgot her coat.
!! yep. you're lookin at her..


still 's dont feel the cold. oil be alroite.

I swear, it's the cold weather.

I'd get that parrot looked at, too.

And give me a swig of that grog!!!

Glugluglugluggggg. Ptoooo! That's better.

Now, who wants weevils and biscuits?

Well, since I was a wee lad, I've awakened half an hour before daylight is due. I guess you can take the kid off of the farm, but never quite get the farm out of the kid. So any-who, rather that sit around home for that extra half hour or so, swilling and being hounded by the true rulers of our house ( and ) ...

There really is no good time for a funeral, is there? Having been an altar boy for many, and then pall-bearer for family and a number of military funerals ... I have yet to attend one that was NOT wet, freezing, or both.

*tops up the discrete melon-shaped flask with grog and hands it off ...*

<>

was wonderin what the smell was.. how long is it since you changed them dungarees!!


oi.. less of the pawing of my discreet melon shaped grog flask if'n you dont moind thank you very much!!! .. hmmmmphhhh..

dont troy moy patience sweetness, i'm not always as sweet as i'm wholesome lookin

I'll has ya know, I just bathed last year !!! And peeled off the dung'ees then fer a fresh pair. <scowl-&-frowny-stuff>

Yes, that's true.

He did bathe last year.

I tend to do it bi-annually. It helps to mask the smell of the cockles.

Ahoy !!! Some-one's gone and flooded my mail box !!! There were 24 notes from our BBC hosts. A few were advising that posts I had d were upheld, the rest saying my posts were removed. Oddly enough, quite of number of them were duplicates. I can only guess a couple of people were having fun.

In any case, I disreguarded a number of them as perhaps being considered "grey". But I very firmly replied to the rest, requesting that they be re-instated.

I do pity YOUR mail-server, Isaiah. It must be nearly maxed out !!!

Anyway, as the lady once sang, "Que sera, sera ..." (What will be, will be)

i got no mail from them as wot's in charge..

hmmmmmphhh (must try haaader to be baaader)


goin to bed now..
been a long day
catch you all on the morrow for more fun 'n' frolicks

avast behind me hearties..

Well, you're not in the club until you do.

We have badges and everything!

A vast behind, eh? Have you tried step aerobics. It worked for me.

(slips into leotard and legwarmers)

Did you check your emails, Reverend? Interestting stuff!

Arrrrrrrrr!

Indeed, I didn find an interesting mail last night. Chalk one up for the good guys.

Now about this vast behind, ... Maybe running a few hundred laps of the deck? Replace a couple of the oars-men with a pedal-bike rig? (A couple of those lads ARE getting a bit ripe, ya know)

*in a very resonant and soothing voice, ya know, that kind that makes ya really feel a need to trust and buy that specific "Willy-Enhancer-And-Car-Polishing-Kit...*

"Stepping briefly away from the current topic, (what-ever it may or may not be):"

I note that some of my 'd posts have been restored. Thus buoying my faith further in the effectiveness of the moderation system here.

Also, I have boldly and without seeking permission, attached you both to my friends list. This in no way indicates that I want or need a quick route to lurk your every word or mis-step. Honest. You can trust me, ... I'm not at all like the rest.

Lastly, should any wench choose to call on the e-mail address that is at the bottom of my Personal Space, she will not find herself inundated with silliness, spam, or offers for wonderful life changing products. And any abuses that may or may not occur will certainly not be excessive. *redefining "excessive" in the local dictionaries*

*Once more that soothing, trust-worthy voice fades in ... *

"We now return you to your irregularly, fully unscheduled programming."

Yes, yes, yes...but will there be grog?

You supply the grog, the wench can bring her melons and I'll have some badges purchased.

We'll be toasting victory with our "Haharrrrrrs!" before you know it.

Seriously, my brother works for the local council where he lives and received an email some time ago saying it was going to be official pirate day that week. Rather than get dressed up, he opted for the pirate speak as compliance.

On reaching the office on the day in question, he spotted a chap leaving the lifts wearing an eye patch and greeted the man witha "Arrr! Cap'n!"

It turns out the man was not participating in the pirate related festivities, but was in fact recovering from corrective laser surgery. My bro was in the bad books for a weeks.

I too very nearly stuck my foot in it on the week-end. Milady and I were shopping for groceries, and encountered a friend of hers from the dart league. I almost asked her when the 3rd child was due ... But refrained. Milady later informed me that the person is simply quite rotund about the middle.