h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Frantic last-minute getting-ready stuff:
trying to fit everything into her one backpack
making a pile of things that won't fit and would have to be left behind
trying to fish her sandals from under the bed
trying to remember what she forgot
making sure she didn't leave anything behind that she needs
checking once again she knows where her passport and tickets are
stuffing some more last-minute things into the backpack
once again checking nothing is left behind
really getting ready to leave now
once again going over everything to make sure it's okay
leaving in a moment
really about to leave
leaving
left*

*Wheels in fridge, gift of the Lady P Fan Club*

Ah well - it'll be here for when she gets back

*takes off her shoes, stretches her sore shoulders and slumps on the bed*.

Hey has someone redecourated the room, that the new wallpaper looks better, the new picture seems more homy and that heap of clothes on the floor gives the room a distressed look!!!

Hello, Sorry if i'm intruding. I'm Arisztid Lugosi. However you may call me Arisz if you'd like. I'm here to offer you a bouquet of flowers compliments of the hotel. Would you like some? We have many differnent varities, perhaps you have a preferance?

*Notices a light on in Lady P's room*

Hello Arisz! Allow me to introduce myself: I am Trin and I am the pianist in the Bar here. Lady Pennywhistle, whose room this is, is the regular barlady, but she's away for a few weeks.

Maybe you could bring some flowers round at the start of August? It would be lovely to have some here when she gets back

nice to meet you. that sounds like a good idea. i'll try to remember to have fresh flowers here for her when she gets back... do come and drop by me in the tower room, i'd love to have a visitor. the kettles always on and i've always got some good snacks

Oh this is Lady P's room:

*runs out the door with her belongings into the airing cupboard*

I know it'll be a while before you get this Yael, but if you've not seen the Staff Notice in the HHH Management journal, would you be so kind as to add the HHH Management to your Friends List as we're trying to compile a list of staff

Thanks!

*Lets self in with special staff key that he has 'borrowed' from Footbacon's cupboard. Opens the windows wide and airs the room*

Aaaah! That's better!

*Notices the fridge is still going. Pops a bottle of champagne in it*

That'll be nice. Now, where to leave these? *Looks inside bag: there are 'Welcome Back' cards from each member of the Lady P fanclub which they all made themselves with crayons and sticky-back plastic*

Actually, lets put them on the mantlepiece.

*Arranges as many cards as he can on the mantlepiece, then puts some others on the windowsill*

Lovely!

*sees preperations for someones return, and decides that it may be who ever stays here*

umm... maybe i should put up some flowers... now what kind... i think the roses will be nice

*places a large bouquet of red and yellow roses, with babys breath on the coffee table*

*leaves*

Oo, that is nice Yes, Lady Pennywhistle will love those.

oh good!
thanks trin!

*Enters room, making her way around the fridge that is blocking the doorway, and takes off her big heavy backpack*

Well, I'm back.

*Notices flowers and cards*

Oh, this is lovely!

*Notices note from management*

Hm, I should remember to take care of that later… *puts note in a box and writes on the side "things to do", then thinks a bit and adds the word "urgent!"*

Right, what now? …Oh yes, unpacking. *sigh* Not right now. Later. Tomorrow or something. *Wonders if she could fit the backpack into the "things to do" box, but then decides it's probably not a very good idea*

*Decides to get some rest instead… just for a little while*

* A sleeping sensor, embedded in the wall, notices dynamically when Lady P awakes, and activates a pre-recorded message, which is issued from a hitherto unnoticed Intercom loudspeaker in the corner of the room. The message goes thus:

"On behalf of the HHH Staff, welcome back. It is worth noting that no arrangement was made as to whether you were taking holiday with pay, or without pay, and as administrator of all financial aspects of the HHH, I should like to hear from you in regard to this 'sensitive' matter. Being a flexible organisation, I can place an application in retrospect for holiday with pay, in which incident you will eligible for the bulk sum of .

After tax, you will find that the revised sum is a grand total of:


Thankfully we can evade the tax issue with a clever get-out clause embedded into 24000-page-long documents, the exact nature of which you will undoubtedly not wish to hear of.

I hope you had a good Summer, and that you continue to enjoy your work here at the HHH."

* The loudspeaker crackles for another five minutes as though it is unsure whether it is supposed to be saying anything or not.

(this a retroactive post or something like that, because I'm supposed to be at the bar right now)

*makes a note and puts it in the "things to do" box*


Remember to talk to Mr. Baryonic about getting money for the vacation (?)
-->Also ask what was the thing about 24,000 pages of something

*peeks in*

sorry to disturb you... i jsut wanted to know if hte flowers were to your satisfaction or not... if you like i can give you annother bouquet of your choice, i wasnt sure what kind of flowers you like...

Hi there, sorry for disregarding you, I haven't been around for a while... nice to meet you. And thanks for the flowers, they're lovely! I don't really mind what kind they are, just give me whatever you have, I wouldn't want you to bother.

very nice to meet you too!

well how about these iris's and some baby's breath?

Thank you!

not a problem
i'll be back later incase you need more. but if i'm not back soon enough just come and see me in my tower room i love to have visitors... so come and visit me even if you dont need flowers...