h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*shakes her head, as if she had water in her ears*

I'm hearing things again, unless anyone else heard that laughter?

*Hands another note to the maid*


Backpay would only count if actual work had been done. Over the past 42,000 years we weren't technically inside the tiem stream, ergo no work could have possibly been done anyway.

*hands a second note to the maid stating that as she made herself available for work during that entire period and received no instruction to the contrary from her employer, then appropriate compensation in accordance with her conditions of contract would become due and payable upon demand irrespective of any scientific technicality*

*slips a third note to the maid suggesting a 50/50 split in the event of a successful lawsuit*

I did indeed hear some laughter.

Gord, no offense, but let's have another look down that old stairway. There were rough tunnels heading off in about three directions from a natural ampitheatre, and you should have been able to detect if they were walled off.

*stands up* Let's go see.
*heads to F1742198?thread=410486 *

*hastily follows Lil, feeling a bit unsafe in the present location*

*leads Toby to the kitchen and feeds him a bit of fresh spinach while loading onto his back all the food Matina is willing to allow*

*leads the well-laden horse into sea's pocket, well away from the rip*

Ook. [I never thought I'd live to meet the Divine Cook!]
*looks around the pocket interestedly*

*Takes inventory of the contents of her tote bag, making sure the blasting caps are handy as well as her cable needle.*

*Helps herself to an Obscure beer to fortify herself for the upcoming challenges.*

Gee, d'E, you seem particularly sensitive to the effect of these orchids. Let's hope that once we figure out how to get rid of them you don't suffer from flashbacks.

*pops a bottle of Chianti in a pocket*

It'll go well with the pizza later.

Cheerio Matina!

/* Stuffs as many sandwiches as will fit in his pockets */

Flashbacks? Oh no, I hope not. Anyway I think the alcohol is helping. I'm not thinking about GLs shoe at all any more, in fact I'm remembering how this all started with the Christmas tree.

/* Follows Lil, whistling "Here comes Santa Claus" */

*Follows*

Well then, off we go.

*As this is the Atelier, Affy considers just following the link to elsewhere while still staying safely here. But he decides that this would just become complicated and departs anyway*

*A muffled thump and a small cloud of soot comes from the fireplace. When the cloud settles, Butch can be seen sitting inside the fireplace. That is, if there is anyone left in the salon to see him.*

*has been watching the rest of the party leave the salon with something like a saddened expression*

*hearing the thump, Matina snatches up her snowzar and a fresh chalice, and charges into the salon*

*seeing the cloud of soot, Chloe wheels in from the guest rooms, brandishing the new vacuum cleaner*

*Matina aims the snowzar and holds the chalice aloft* Clean cups! Clean cups! Who shall be first to the forum? In the name of calling cards and clean cups, who shall be first among salonistas?

*startled*

Er, what?

*Calls back into the chimney*

It's okay, guys. Just a couple of bots that somehow got reactivated.

*Turns back to the bots*

Well howdy, ladies. I'm sure I'm the first one here in a long time and it sure is nice of you to offer me a cup of something.

*Leans forward and stands up, but isn't far enough forward to miss the opening. Cracks his head on the opening, knocking himself out cold. Lies sprawled at the bots' feet.*

*the two bots look at each other then back at Butch Cadbury*

*Matina shoots the unconscious form point-blank with the snowzar, then picks up one end of the Butchsicle and hauls it into what was once the library*

*Chloe begins hoovering up the soot*

*Matina places the Butchsicle on a shelf in the Natural History section then returns to the kitchen*

*Wakes up, but can't open his eyes. Thinks about moving his arm up to rub his throbing head, but finds he can't move it. The next discovery is that he can't curse.

Fights down his rising panic and thinks back. Last thing he remembers is sitting in a fireplace and seeing two bots. Then standing to greet them. He thinks back to the bots. One was trailing a vacuum cleaner. Nothing odd there. The other was offering him a cup of something and in the other hand...what was in the other hand? Thinks hard and suddenly remembers...in the other hand was a snowzar! Aha! That explains the paralysis.

Has a chilling thought, which he realizes isn't a good idea when you're already frozen, so he immediately dismisses it. Besides, why would a bot set a snowzar to permafrost anyway. Surely it was only set for a few minutes.

Makes a herculean effort and is rewarded with one half-open eye. Relief floods through him as he now knows that the snowzar's effects are starting to wear off. The flood is stemmed, however, by the sight that greets that one half-opened eye. He is staring up at the bottom of a wooden shelf, which looks disturbingly like the inside of a coffin lid. Unable to turn his head, he is unable to see that he is not enclosed on one side. The flood of relief resumes, though, when he realizes that it would be totally dark inside a coffin. He literally cracks a smile.*

*first one, then another spider appears at the edges of Butch Cadbury's peripheral vision*

*if his numb skin has any sensory awareness, it might be aware of the feeling of many spiders crawling around on his body*

*the spidercambots methodically spin a mummy casing around Butch Cadbury's body, leaving holes only for his eyes and nostrils*

*all the spidercambots then depart except for one, which spins itself a dummy web right over Butch Cadbury's head, on the underside of the shelf above him, then comes to rest in the middle*

*a soot smeared head pokes out of the chimney breast and spies what's happening to Butch*

Whut in the name of the One is going on here