h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

>How do they put the stripes in toothpaste?
>With a special gun.

Someone's been watching The Day Today!

Never mind the stripes - whose teeth do they use to make the paste?

You're lying.
In fact, you're lying in a news grave.

It think we all ought to be ashamed of ourselves.
Toothpaste is a serious matter.
The stripes in toothpaste are vital.
Let's face it, if it wasn't for those stripes, we'd all be dead.

Erm. Yes?
I suppose that without proper dental hygine (Hi Gene!)...

Or I don't suppose it could be that you have found out about the antidote in the toothpaste that is put there by the dentists so that if you stop cleaning your teeth you don't get your daily dose of antidote and die?

Nah. That's top secret that is. Nobody knows that.

Actually when you squeeze the toothpaste tube you are squezing the main white part and also a smaller part contining the stripe color this is made so that when you squeeze you get stripes

Come on, don't talk rubbish. Everybody knows about the little guys inside the tube with even smaller tubes of different coloured toothpaste. When you squeeze the tube, the little guys inside squeeze their tubes at the same time and put the stripes in. The little guys, stripers, have a great sense of humor and do this solely on the basis that it'll make silly pratts like us wonder how the hell did the stripes get there. I, on the other hand, have discovered there little secret and will be taking it up with the UN as soon as I get out of this rather tight jacket.

Hey come back here...

O toothpaste, toothpaste, groop I emplore thee
Thy's stripes mesmorize my turlingdromes
For without thy's stripy constonance, I would be no more
Then a Vogon Without odor, or a Hat without a cheesegrater

You're all a bunch of sad butts. And I include myself.

Damm! and I thought Euythamol(pink) toothpaste was ace
and now I discover that it's just reject stripey paste, but if you
scrub hard enough then when you spit, the REAL red stuff comes
out.......wadda you mean,"That's blood"....plahhh,,

What I really want to know is who's idea was it to use baking soda in some toothpastes now. I mean, is there too much baking soda in the world and they're just trying to find methods of hiding it in places?

Personally, I can't stand the stuff - may as well pour a pot of baking soda down your throat and be done with it. But tell me, if you do use this toothpaste variant, does your mouth froth up like some rabid dog ?? Sure sign for the men in white jackets to turn up I'd say :o)

Did you know . . .
Before the advent / invention of toothpaste as we know it, Dentists used to make up "Tooth Powders" for their patients, and these were entirely Sodium Bicarbonate powder flavoured with essences of peppermint / rose etc.

They may not have been "nice" to use but were nevertheless effective in reducing decay because the one thing Sodium Bicarbonate (Baking Soda) does quite well, is neutralise weak acids without risk of ending up with an equally corrosive alkaline result, and it's the acid that attacks the enamel.

Q.E.D.

P.S. My grandfather was such a dentist.

Better than the medieval practise of pulling all your teeth out for a birthday present. Rich people thought this was a cool idea because it stopped tooth decay and hence would be a gorgeous present to give tou your sibling! Think it was the molars mainly... mmm nice, get those pliers out.

Everyone knows if you dont use toothpaste, the top secret toothpostomos airas (common tooth monster) would be wiped out entirely. This creature is kept by the toothpaste manufacturing industry as a secret. This poor creatures lives in the dentists chair where sad, spotted tooth extractors remove their constantly growing teath. This poor creature lives on a diet of pepermints, hence the minty taste. More recently these poor creatures have been force fed baking powder, blue food color, red food color, green food color to increase the variety we receive. These teeth when removed are ground up, water added(for the floride and to make a paste) and then injected into various dispensing tubes.

Can someone tell me why my toothopaste doesn't have any stripes?

You probably have invisible stripes you lucky thing.


C
XXX

But, How do I know that they are there if I can't see them?

I think somebody stole my stripes before I could get to them myself, I'll have to be more careful in the future.

Noooooo you just have white stripes...

If I have white stripes, can I have coloured toothpaste?