h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Enough people have asked for all the gory details for it to make sense for me to share them here.

So....

Imagine a stone circle in Orkney, imagine a party of half a dozen people, imagine a humanist ceremony, imagine horizontal rain, hail, and hats blowing off heads, into the North Sea and off to Norway.

It's when I think thoughts like these that I wonder if St Kitts wouldn't be a better beach.

We are having a Very Small ceremony for a whole bunch of reasons mainly to do with drawing the line. Well - we've however many FaceBook friends between us. And then there's colleagues. And family. And the people subscribed to our Tweets. And the internet wierdos here. And the ones on our blogs. And the nice Nigerian Prince. Such a lovely man. It would be rude not to invite him once the money comes through that's paying for it all.

You have to draw the line somewhere, and we've drawn it around the two of us (kinda necessary, unless we went for a medieval proxy-style wedding - we'd have to find a 6 year old to stand in for one of us though). Then there's Z's best man who's his former housemate A. And my matron of honour Teuchter of this parish (well, we had to have a wierdo in there somewhere). And just possibly there'll be my Big Bro who seems to like giving me away. Well, he has to give me away really. As Tom Lehrer said: "Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice".

So I've spent this evening booking accommodation and ferry tickets. The lovely ladies at http://www.orkneyweddings.co.uk/ have recommended the celebrant, contacted the landowners, booked the florist, discussed options with the photographer and sent us a menu for the meal. I love them to pieces and would recommend them heartily. You don't get service like that in St Kitts. Or maybe you do.

So - small - select and very slightly wierd. What else did you expect?

Well, I'd expect you to be able to spell weird twice.

And we still want to know what you'll be wearing.

B

>> And we still want to know what you'll be wearing.

So do I.

Hoo says he can pick my typing out from a cast of thousands by the way that I spell wierd and the way I spell bizzare.

What can I say?

Well considering I"m lurking here - I don't think she's allowed to say.

Anyway - must wash up - I've been not washing up all evening.

I have problems with 'weird' too. Also with 'necessary'.

The North Sea?
Orkney Snork Nie!
I thought you were fingering rings in South Africa.
Give me hope, Joanna.

"It's I before E except after C".
It's weird that 'weird' breaks that rule.
It takes an Einstein to figure out when the rules apply or not.

I think you mean Ienstien.

B

I really like your plans. Please make someone take piccies tho', to let all us weirdos know what it was like. Is going to have been like. Willan on liken bean. You know what I mean.

Weird, innit? This morning, my neighbor, a foreign sheik, heir to some sovereign realm, feigned a seismic headache. I offered him eight beige codeine pills, but that weighed on my conscience for before he could seize the pills I felt prescient that this was a heinous ruse for I could see his wife, in her peignoir giggling behind her veil, the heifer. I stopped this heist and took my dreidel and pills, leaving him with neither.

Sorry, for the thread drift... kinda followed that "i before e" thing down a rabbit hole.


Anyways, congrats and all.

One of these days I plan on making it to Scotland and specifically Orkney someday. Maybe not on my first Scottish trip but definitely on my second. (My favourite single malt is distilled there).

Sounds like it will be a beautiful little wedding. Slainte Mhath.

The i before e thing only works when the sound is ee(eeee). And even then...

Sounds great.

*Thinks at Ben* Merrangue [if we are going for spelling problems], meriange, marringue, merrainge, mirengue, murienge, merrangie...

It's morangie...

As in Glenmorangie.

What made you think of South Africa, Trout? When Z asked me where I'd like to get hitched I said "the London Eye or Lindisfarne", but that was only because I hadn't thought of the Ring of Brodgar.

Milla - fret not - there will be photies. We're hiring a photie-man, and there'll be an assortment of cameras rattling around the place too. Since it's such a small ceremony, we are going to have to provide pics.

Count Zero - is that *every* exception in the English language? I couldn't even begin to weigh them up.

Keith.

I'm saving that list somewhere though. I used to have a whole lesson on this for students taking an advanced English cert, and there's nothing like a memonic. Mnemneomnic. Oh for goodness sake.

Also seize.

There are many others... those were just the ones I could throw into a few coherent sentences on the fly.

http://alt-usage-english.org/I_before_E.html

The rule I was taught was "i before e except after c or when the sound you are making is eee". But a lot of Count Zero's exceptions are exceptions to that one.



I think I mentioned getting Seriously Distracted by cake? I was doing fine until then.

Best man?
Maid of Honour?
Celebrant?
Venue?
Cake? Ahh.... cake.... mmmmmm. Cake.

And I came over all Homer Simpson and confetti.com and started googling wedding cake sites like they were porn.

Here is my favourite cake: http://www.bigweddingcakecompany.co.uk/gallery.php?picid=165 cutsie ikkle cakelets, but in stronger colours please.

And here is Zs: http://www.otleypatisserie.co.uk/individual-wedding-cake-s.html Actually, I see his point. My mouth's watering just looking at that.

Thankfully we have been rescued from cakey folly by Z's Lovely Housemate who is baking and making cake for us. Little ones. But sane. Well, saneish. And saving me from decsions and madness.



I think I mentioned the mysterious Power of Carbs when I said that cheesecake cures the blues?

* s at both cakes