h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Police are on the Lookout today for Jerry Hodgeson, A Midget claivoyant who Escaped from Prison today, The Papers say the Police are on the Lookout for a Small Medium at Large

Oi inter what's a Henway?

i should know the answer to that one!!! ........ but i dont

Two or Three Pounds!

kermit walks into a bank and goes up to the counter, he looks at the bankers name tag (patty black) and says "hi patty! id like a loan of £5,000 please!" patty says "certainly sir, but well need some collaterol" "no problem" says kermit, and proceeds to hand over a ceramic elephant. patty looks at it and says "it doesnt look like its worth much" "o' contrare!" says kermit "it belonged to my father who, would you believe it, was in fact one of the rolling stones!" patty didnt believe it so she went into the back and presented it to the manager, explaining the situation. the manager inspected the elephant carefully and eventually says




"it a nick-nack patty black, give the frog a loan, his old mans a rolling stone"

Did you figure out the Potato one?

my auntie marge has been ill for so long im thinking of changing her name to "i cant believe shes not better!"

no, i didnt

"What's a Grecian urn?"
"About six drachmas an hour."

They Get A Potato clock sounds like
They Get up at Eight o'clock

ooooooooooh

mwahahahahaa! revenge is sweet

In a town where Psychics are in shor supply one of them saved a child from geting hit by a car, and the Headlines said "Rare Medium, Well Done"

i am defeated

Oh Yeah! Who's the king of the beach?

One fine day in the bird's nest, when the mother bird was finding some tasty worms, the eggs began to hatch. First one little chick emerges, then the next. The first little chick looks around and notices an orange. The first chick says to the second chick, "Look at the orange marmalade."

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

*gives pers a pair of pun proof earmuffs*

curses! my only weakness!