h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1 2 3 4, 1 2 3, 1 2, tatata...
1 2 3, 1 2.
single, single, single, single, double, double, double, triplet, triplet, four.

Just keeping my mind from thinking of her...

Hiya Oyvind!

Who's her? How nosy am i?!lolxxx
Claire

Hi.

Well, she's someone I was hopelessly in love with for half a year or so... Needless to say, it didn't work out.

Anyway, I just found out she's in love with someone else, it shouldn't really affect me, but for some reason, it made me feel inadequate.

Anyway, I'm fine now.

oh im so glad i've never been in love!

Claire
xxxxxxx

Never?
Not even a wee crush?
I'm sorry to hear that, you have no idea what you're missing...

sweetie im missing out on heartache and pain not much else by the sounds of it!

yeah i've had crushes but never proper relationships.

Claire
xxxxxx

Yes, but you're also missing out on joy beyond description...

Believe me, it's worth it... Even though things don't work out, it's something to take with you.

Honestly, it's not worth fearing, the pain is nothing, it doesn't matter...

Or perhaps I'm taking my mouth too full.

Considering all the people who've commited suicide out of love.

I honestly dunno how I would have handled it if this had happened a couple of months ago. I would've felt terrible, that's for certain, but I have no idea what I'd do.

Anyway, the way things are now, I wouldn't have had it any other way. It's an experience to take with me, albeit a painful one. And the memories and feelings after the first date are indescribable...

hmmmmm to be honest i run a mile whenever i get asked out. It doesn't excite me it scares the hell out of me. i don't trust people... guys in particular... probably a lot to do with my parents divorce i reckon.

The last time i was asked out was back in January at King Tuts at an Easyworld gig and i never ever phoned the guy back. He was dead sweet but i just didn't fancy him really. I hate the way that sounds. Makes me sound evil but it's the truth. I don't want to sound dramatic here but i think i have a serious lack of emotion sometimes... im 2 extremes though. my friends all drool over guys and i just think "What's the bloody point?"!. oh and i must add i don't have feelings for girls. Im not in any confusion over my sexuality.

Gosh i sound so morbid sometimes! No wonder i get so damn lonely!

Claire
xxxxxx

I see... The girl I was in love with did the same thing to me... It was horrible to experience, but I can't blame her. I can't make you date guys, but I do recommend it, it's not all that bad, I've been to a few dates with girls that I wasn't really interested in, and it's actually quite a nice experience.

It could have something to do with teir divorce, yes. Anyway, look at it like this: Pain is but another feeling, as essential to life as it's opposite, joy. I've found that all the things I've experienced thus far, and especially the not so happy ones (and I've had quite a lot of those, some really serious ones, even), have taught me something... It's not always bad, and there is a point in leting your feelings out.

Oh, and don't worry, it wouldn't have mattered if you fancied girls. Two of my friends are bisexuals(I'm not, though), and it doesn't really matter to me at all.

I can't help but agreeing with you there... you will get lonely if you can't let your feelings out. And youn will get tense. It's all part of the circle, you can't supress your feelings, it only results in involuntary eruptions of extreme sadness/anger, and then possibly a depression...

But it's not morbid... though.

Øyvind

hey

She ran a mile? Oh im sorry honey. Guys get such bad press for doing things like that and girls can be just as bad if not worse.

I hate being so cynical about love and i've never even experienced love so i shouldn't be so narrow-minded about it. I actually look at couples and think "You're so stupid to be so happy cuz it'll end at some point" I guess im just jealous that im not in love and never have been.

Im not a nasty person btw! Not that i think you think that or anything i just thought i'd say that... i can be sweet but a lot of guys(including male friends who i have platonic relationships with) have said im a bit of a bitch! They don't even mean it to hurt me they're just being honest.

Oh and i also must say i always laugh when i hear some guy likes me. I can never accept someone would like me... and then i go thinking they are stupid for liking me on face value( like the guy at King Tuts)... im such a bloody nightmare! Im not a nightmare as a friend though.

Oh i just remembered i had a little relationship thingy when i was just 14. In fact i might have been 13 so i was pretty young for a relationship. He 2-timed me. That hurt.

Oh no i didn't think you'd have a problem with me if i was gay/bisexual i just thought i'd tell you that im not so as to eliminate it as a reason for my rather troubled feelings!

Oh yeah i know about involuntary eruptions of sadness and anger. I don't do that so much now. I think i deal with my emotions much better now than i did even just 1 year ago. How about you? Do you ever think that you deal with problems better now than when you were a bit younger?

sorry for wittering on. This thread was supposed to be about your problem not mine. Im not like this in real life. I don't go on about myself!

Claire
xxxxxx

Hi!

No problem, it wasn't a nice experience, I'll admit that, and I wouldn't really want it to be that way, but... well... we all have our paths to walk...

Hmm... I see... well, all I can do is ask the eternal question: "Would you rather live a life of loneliness and never experience anything, than to experience all the colours of life, including sadness?"
I know my answer to that question... do you know yours? Do you live by it?

Sheez, this is turning into one huge cliché...

Anyway, there is one fact of life that youll have to learn: You won't get any love, if you're not ready to give some. And you won't fall in love before you're ready to give...

Sounds very much like the girl I was in love with... I'm not accusing you of being a nasty person, btw... I would never do that... Like I said, we all have our paths to walk, but I do try to push you in what I think is the right direction... That's all... I'll quit it if you want me to...

Hmmm... so your self-confidence is what bothers you then? That's certainly the case with me...

Oh, and can I just add that I suppose I'm priviledged, then, when YOU actually invited ME, a Norwegian you've never met, to a gig at King Tut's.

I see... I think most people have a wee relationship at that time... I didn't, though.

Ok, no problem... I just thought I'd say it anyway...

I'm glad to see you recognize it... It's a weel known fact.
Anyway, I suppose the last two years have yielded lots of experience when it comes to handling feelings, so, probably, yes.

No, this thread was meant to be about whatever it would lead to. It started off as a converation about my problems, but there was no rule saying that the conversation had to continue in the same direction...
Anyway, I appreciate personal inputs... It gives me more experience to base my conclusions on (no, I'm not psychoanalyzing you).

Øyvind

hiya

Hmmmm yeah i know you're right... i have to stop being so cold at some point... it's just i can be such a nice wee person then i can just become this total bitch! It's not even that i don't recognise i have a problem... i totally recognise it... Oh and definitely... self-confidence is a problem for me... and the rest of the world i suppose... i know everyone has their insecurities im not a special case.

Nah i don't want you to quit! I need a tellin off!

Can i just ask? How did you know you were in love? I'd really love to have someone who cared about me... oh gawd i finally admitted it! I know my parents care about me but it isn't the same obviously. Im not desperate or anything(!)... i just get on with life and pretend im happy to be such a weird loon but im not too happy if im honest... im not depressed either mind:!)

Oh i just sound like yet another confused teenager... i'll snap out of it eventually i promise!

Priviledged?! Oh god no you shouldn't feel priviledged you should feel scared!lol... just kidding.

Yeah well i suppose i've never had a "proper" relationship but i've had 1 "minor" relationship. I just don't really click with anyone. Not yet anyway. You know how with some people you just instantly get on with them? And of course it doesn't just apply to the opposite sex. Hmmmm basically what im saying is im too fussy! And i shouldnt' be!

Oh and i guess i should say i don't have problems communicating with guys. I get on great with guys. I have a few male friends and i treat them just like my female friends.

Claire
xxxxxx

Hi!

I must admit that I totally recognize the problems you're having, and you are right, it is quite normal, but that doesn't make it any less important to you, though! Anyway, if you recognize it, then you've taken the first step on the path to solving the problem. What's important, is to find out why you wish to change, and if you wish to do it.

Thanks, but, I prefer to use the word "advice", rather than telling you off, because I don't find the problem ridiculous (contrary to what you might think, I'm taking this seriously)...

Och, well... you just know... it's like having a crush, only fifteen times the strength. I realized it when I actually started shivering (sometimes violently), whenever something happened between us.

Ah, hun, there's the solution to the problem... I'm uite certain that loads of people would care about you, and show it much more openly than they do now, if you would but let them... But I know that feeling... all too well. If you stop fearing love, and just relax anbd give in to it, then the whole thing will probably sort itself out (mind you, there are disappointments, but I'm certain that you can handle them, and in the end, it's usually worth it).

No problem, like I said, I don't mind, I'm just nudging you in the right direction...

Naw, I'd say you're the one who should be scared... I'm pretty capable of taking care of myself, but to be a 17-year-old girl, and then invite a Norwegian boy you've never met to a gig... well, it takes guts...

Well, that's a matter of taste... All I can recommend you is that oyou should sit back and enjoy your life more...

Øyvind

boo!

oh you do make me feel better!

hmmmm what was that you said? i should sit back and enjoy my life? There's nothing to enjoy!lol... the most fun i ever have in my life is when im at gigs. Im not even kidding. I feel really comfortable and happy when i go to gigs but apart from that i find life pretty mundane. Nothing is exciting enough!lol...

Just remembered something my mum always says "If it's boring it's because you make it boring"... i dunno if she's right about that.

Isn't it just first love that's like that?


I can take care of myself too thank you!... well except i can't cook, iron, use the kettle, read train times...lol... nah im not that dependent... i would say i have quite an independent mind if that makes any sense at all... oh and you keep coming back to the fact that you are a Norwegian... should i be scared because you're Norwegian?! oh come on you lot can't be that weird! it's me that's turning up in the tutu here! plus i know you
ve been to Scotland before but i mean i know Glasgow like the back of my hand(i think) and im familiar with King Tuts... how come it takes guts?

yeah i ain't a particularly demonstrative person. my mum is always urging me to talk about how i feel or even just talk about anything. You know how they estimate that women speak on average double what men speak? well i must be more like a man that way because my grandad always used to point out my lack of social skills in comparison to my mum, gran and aunts! He didn't point it out in a nasty way to make me feel inadequate or small but people do generally pick up on my quiteness and it used to make me angry... now i've just become resigned to how i am! I was thinking about it today before i received your messages. My teachers used to pick up on it and call me a "dark horse". I used to think that was an insult but now i realise it's a compliment.

And what would your teachers say about you Oyvind? Genius!

Claire
xxxxxx

Yikes!

Glad to hear it... or was it sarcasm?

Hmm... can't help you there... As far as I'm concerned, there's always some opportunity to go to a social happening... Usually it's a movie night, or something. Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you find life so boring... You don't by any chance read books, do you? That's what I do whenever there's nothing else to do... Or there's the kit... Or perhaps the guitar, piano, vibraphone...

Well, she might be... I'm never bored, even when I'm not doing anything, because I use that time for contemplating and dreaming...

Hrm.. well... This was my fifth time... And it wasn't like any of the other times... it was different, even though it feels the same. I'm not sure if I can describe it any better... You just know it when you feel it, I suppose. It was enormously frustrating, though, especially when she would actually confide in me, and tell me about personal problems. I really wanted to help her, and just make it allright, only I couldn't because then she would know how I felt, and she would run away...

I see... well... an independent mind is something... and the rest of the skills come with need and practice.

Well, have you never heard any of the anti web-relation propaganda that we have over here... About how dangerous text can be as a medium? I'd say it takes guts, even though you do know Glasgow... I dunno why I keep mentioning that I'm Norwegian, but I suppose it has something to do with pointing out that there could be cultural differences that you wouldn't know of until you've lived here for a while...

Well, is the amount of words a person uses really a measurement of how skilled the person is socially? I find that the quiet people are often the ones that only speak when they really have something important to say. Anyway, I'm not exactly the talkative type myself...

Hrm... Well, my teachers never told me directly what they thought about me... But I've heard some comments afterwards (I won' disclose them, simply for the reason that it would be a wee bit arrogant of me)... But not genius... no... not that.

Thanks anyway!

Øyvind

My guess is that you're currently replying to this thread...
So... gotcha!

hiya again!

no it wasn't sarcasm i meant it!

You're messages either make me smile or laugh hence why i said you should write books... you're very entertaining!

Oh yeah i read books. Cureently readin Therese Raquin By Emile Zola. Oh and im trying to work through French and Spanish novels too but that's for college and it's hard work so it's not leisurely in the least.

That was your fifth time?! Gosh... no wonder i feel like a freak!lol... Maybe you just clicked with her a lot better than the others. Plus you're older now. That's a shame about they way she was with you. I almost want to apologise for her! Oh and you said she is in love with someone else but she probably isn't in love. People when they're in their teens swap boyfriends and girlfriends all the time. I don't mean to sound so flippant but i watch it happening and it seems silly to me. That's another reason im reluctant to catch the love bug!

No really but i suck at simple tasks like making tea. I put the kettle on and forget to put water in it... im not kidding btw. I put the oven on and forget to ignite it and then wonder why the kitchen smells of gas... The problems with being a spoilt only child.

Oh yeah it's the same over here. From sometime in Octpber MSN will close it's chatrooms. Yeah i suppose it does take guts and i'll be nervous to meet you if and when the time comes but i reckon it'll be fine.

Och well you be bashful then!
The nicest thing a teacher has ever said to me is "You've got beauty and you've got brains and i certainly don't hand out compliments like that often"... ooooh is that arrogant of me to tell you that?!lol... nah it was my Spanish teacher and he told me that when i whinged to him that i wasn't getting either the French or Spanish standard grade prizes away back last summer. He was a really strict teacher though and not one to compliment pupils.:0

oh go on Oyvind! Lets not be modest for a change!

Claire
xxxxxxx

Hullo!

You did? Why, I'm flattered. Thank you.

I still am? How come... I thought I had stopped being humorous... But then again... maybe I'm just to weird not to be funny.

OK, I see... That'll probably be next for me too, french novels... Great idea! Anyway, I actually prefer to read most books in English (unnatural, I know).

No point in feeling like a freak, feelings are not meant to be controlled, only channeled. True enough, but I'll still claim that I was in love with her... Honestly, I don't think a crush could last for a year... Oh, and there's no need to apologize on her behalf... It's not her fault, and I really think it's best if I could handle this on my own (not that I don't like talking about it, though, that is important to me).

Well, no I didn't really mean in love... But you see, Norwegian is very specific when it comes to love, you have one word, we have four or five... So when I say in love, that could mean loads of things. But do recall that she is not exactly a normal girl either... So I dunno if you can use normal teenage standards to define her feelings. Anyway, I actually meant that she's probably having a crush on this boy... I've seen it coming for a long while...

Oh, and don't worry, I appreciate your thoughts on the subject...

Well, I think it comes with experience, but I think you'll be able to handle it if you'd just really focus on it. Try it, do nothing else, just keep your mind completely from wandering. And then put on the kettle. Start with the basics. Anyway, I'm sure you'll manage, when you're actually forced into doing it, but it would be an advantage if you had a wee bit of experience before then (we actually learn to cook at school).

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking too.

Ok, that's cool.

Like I said, modesty is a virtue (or perhaps I've never said that, but still). Well, allright then. What I've heard from my teacher afterwards is something along the lines of "He's the most talented pupil I've ever had", except my art teacher who said "He's an academic, that's for sure...". I actually spoke to my old english teacher yesterday. I haven't seen him for over a year now, and it was really fun to meet him again (great guy, we never had a single boring lesson with him, and he's an excellent storyteller).

Well, gotta go, my stepfather insists on paying his bills. So he'll need the computer.

I'll log in later if I get the chance

Øyvind

hello again!

yeah i was replying how did you know?!lol

Yeah you're funny... kinda of a dry humour i think... i like that kind of humour... i have quite a sick sense of humour too..."wicked" as my dad calls it. i like practical jokes...

Oh fair enough. I wasn't saying you weren't in love with her i just mean she may not feel as strongly about this boy as you think...? Anyway... i hate they way we can get attached to people and then they walk out of our lives... i really hate that.

oh talking about relationships and relations with the opposite sex in general i just remembered i always seem to get hit on by older men... and when i say older i mean older... like in their 40's. I know some of my friends feel the same way. We can't get boys our own age but we can get guys ages with our dads!! Its absurd!!(not that i've ever dated an older man or anything)

Och im just thick when it comes to simple things! Im totally dense when im told to do something simple. My mums always pointing that out to me. I can't get my head around the simplest of tasks... but i don't really care! ha!... you're right about me learning all those things when i need to. That's when i will learn... when i have no other option but to fend for myself.

Yeah i agree... modesty is a virtue. But those were very nice comments from your teachers all the same!

Claire
xxxxxx