h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right! Produce the comfy chair, to be used in conjunction with our FOUR chief weapons, which are nitpickiness, rabid hedgehogs (out of interest, are they rapid rabid hedgehogs?), a full of , the Restart button and a scientist! Five chief weapons...

Well, our FIVE chief weapons of whatever are nitpickiness (god that's hard to type), rabid hedgehogs, a full of , the Restart button, a scientist and an inibility to type! SIX weapons!

(YAY!! Stuff's happening!!)

something actually happening reg . . . . .

anyways ...our SIX chief weapons are nitpickiness , rabid hedgehogs, a full of , the Restart button, a scientist, an inibility to type and a nit called sydney who refuses to be picked!
Oh damn, I can't say it - you'll have to say it.

Fine, _I'll_ say it then... because it's SEVEN you know.
See, there's nitpickiness, that's one, there's rabid hedgehogs, that's too, there's a full of , that's three, the 'Restart' button is four, a scientist is five, an inability to type is six, and then there's this nit called Sydney who refuses to get picked which is seven! Oh, and there's a deep unfounded sense of resentment... so eight.

Right, from the top!

Traveller in Time to the coffee
"And suddenly the next Spanish inquisitor runs into the room, Showing his eight weapons;
A very sharp nitpickiness and here are some rapid rabid hedgehogs too. I will take you the full of . . . . "
He hops on the buzzing some
"I have here my [Restart] button and a scientist ? an unclassified inability to type a six and then there is this nit called 'Sydney' who refuses to get picked with a seven. And here is my deep unfounded sense of resentment. "
He nips from another coffee, resting on the POV gun.


"Now wait, that is mine, that is nine too!"

Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as:
1: A paticularly pointy nitpickiness
2: Some rapid, rabid hedgehogs (possibly belonging to richard nixon, possibly called frank)
3: A housing a tea lady who up until recently served yet has now decided to move on to bigger, better things by serving
4: A common place restart button
5: A mad scientist who has yet to find gumby's brain
6: an unclassified, undignified and unwarranted inability to type
7: Sydney, the unpickable nit (who farts in the general direction of chief weapon number 1)
8: A deep unfounded sense of resentment - which has not yet come out of the closet (auh, bless)
9: A second from above said tea lady, who now has a roaring trade.
And...
some freak from a menagerie (No!!)

Oh damn!

Look, you all can't count, the TEN weapons of whatever are:

1. Nitpickiness
2. Rabid hedgehogs (hehe, I just wrote that Pabid Hedgehogs...)
3. A full of
4. A 'Restart' button
5. A mad scientist
6. An inability to thypeeoee
7. Sydney, the man not the city
8. A deep unfounded sense of resentment
9. A , possibly from the direction of previously said
10. Some freak from a menagerie
11. Too many tabs open at once.

*GASP* That's ELLEVEN!

No, but you've all forgoteen the POV gun! That'd make it twelve! see, there's nitpickiness, rabid hedgehogs (named George and Kilroy, buy the way), a full of ( optional as well), the 'Restart' button, a scientist (possibly mad), an inability to type, Sydney the anti-pick nit, a deep unfounded sense of resentment, a , THE POV GUN, some freak from a menagerie (hey, who ya calling freak?!), and too many tabs open at once. So that's twelve.
But that's not all!!! You are also getting this AMAZING mango-peeler and banana-crusher FREE OF CHARGE!!! (39.99₤ shipping not included, batteries not included)

(sorry, the Pound mark didn't work, just make it a $ or whatever you're convenient with)

Traveller in Time trying to change a Trigenic Pu
"
39.99£ (Alt-156)=
39.99$ (Alt-36)=
39.99ƒ (Alt-159)

Somehow I get the impression this is not entirely fair. "

Right, well, our THIRTEEN weapons are:

1. Nitpickiness
2. Rabid hedgehogs
3. A full of
4. The 'Restart' button
5. A scientist (maddness may be included. Check the packaging)
6. an inability type
7. Sidney, the antipick nit
8. A deep unfounded sense of resentment
9. a
10. The POV gun
11. Some freak from menagerie (Where the hell is menagerie?)
12. Too many tabs open at once
13. an AMZAING mango-peeler and banana-crusher
14. A FREE set of steak knives! (but only if you pay by credit card)

HEY! That's FOURTEEN

I'll come in again.

*runs out*

*runs in*

Nobody expects the Hooto-Hispanic Inquisition. Our FOURTEEN weapons are, in ascending order: nitpickiness, rabid hedgehogs, a full of , the Restart button (and which Restart button is this?), a scientist who may OR MAY NOT be mad, an unabollity to tape, Sidney (the nit who won't be picked!), some deep resentment, a which most definitely did not come from the , the POV gun, some freak from a menagerie (No! It's Eric the half-a-bee!), a lorra lorra tabs, this high-cost multi-purpose fruit-doing-something-with-thing, a potentially-gratis set of steak knives, and a word. Whee!!!

No - wait - fifteen

::runs in, accidentally knocks the penguin off the telly::

NOBODY expects the Hooto-Hispanic Inquisition! Our fifteen weapons are, in ascending order: nitpickiness, rabid hedgehogs, a full of , the Restart button the restarts the Universe, a scientist who may OR MAY NOT be mad, an unabollity to tape, Sidney (the nit who won't be picked!), some deep resentment, a which most definitely did not come from the , the POV gun, some freak from a menagerie (No! It's Eric the half-a-bee!), a lorra lorra tabs, this high-cost multi-purpose fruit-doing-something-with-thing, a potentially-gratis set of steak knives, a word (to be agreed on later), and a box of non-Whizzo, really poor quality .

::runs out, kicking smilies that won't cut & paste::

oh, intercourse the penguin!

...I'm not entirely sure I want to know...

...then you need to watch the penguin sketch again!

BIGGLES!

*clears throat*

Right, er well NOBODY or at least VERY FEW people tend to expect the Hooto-hispanic inquisition! Our fifteen, no wait sixtee... seventeen? No no no Sixteen weapons are of surprise and fear(tm) are, last time I checked, nitpickiness, rabid hedgehogs, a full of , the Restart button that MAY or MAT NOT restart the Universe, a scientist (possibly mad), an inab... unabol... inabil... inabolilaty to tyappoe...., Sidney (the nit who wont be picked!), some deep resentment, a which DID NOT come from the , the POV gun, some freak from a menagerie (Eric the half-a-bee !), a large number of tabs, a totally AMAZING mango-peeler and banana-crusher yours TODAY!, a possibly free set of steak knives (if you pay by credit car), a word (not sure which one), a box of non-Whizzo(really poor quality), A pink fluffy bunny with imatation sharp big pointy teeth, a- wait, how many is that again? Is that more than sixteen?

I don't believe I've seen the penguin sketch, which explains it...

in that case cat, you are deprived.

Right! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as nitpickiness, rabid hedgehogs, a full of , the Restart button that MAY or MAT NOT restart the Universe, a scientist (possibly mad), an inab... unabol... inabil... inabolilaty to tyappoe...., Sidney (the nit who wont be picked!), some deep resentment, a coffee which DID NOT come from the tea bus , the POV gun, some freak from a menagerie (Eric the half-a-bee run !), a large number of tabs, a totally AMAZING mango-peeler and banana-crusher yours TODAY!, a possibly free set of steak knives (if you pay by credit car), a word (not sure which one), a box of non-Whizzo(really poor quality), A pink fluffy bunny with imatation sharp big pointy teeth, ...and an albatross-flavored albatross (or is that two ice creams?)!

Damn again! Five... "Eighteen, sir!" Eighteen.