h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

during the battle to the death, someone died......Was it Batman? Was it Robin? was it the penguin? was it the penguins?. To find out, tune in next week, same time, same Bat channel. Dinna Dinna Dinna Dinna Dinna Batman.....

After dinner: The good news was Robin was only unconscious and lay still on the ice, the Laser Ray was still melting the iceberg. As PENGUIN held batman down, the ray was heading straight for Robin's.....

Balls. For some unknown reason robin always carried around two sacks of balls, baseballs,footballs etc. Jumpint to his feet robin knocked peunguin outta the way helped batman to his feet.there was only one thing they could do, and that was to jump into the laser beam. it would kill them ,but it would save the penguins!..so they.....

opted to take the easy way out and not jump.*I always knew they weren't real Super-Hero's* said BBC,the famous singing,tap-dancing penguin.We don't need them to make the sacrifice anyway because the good news is that....

the last few days of the penguins lives had been a dream (like in dallas), so they all went back to normallity. that untill....

...that the lime-green ice they had all used to mix their Harvey Headbangers was really an evil concoction planted by Skeletor.The good news was.........

....that "Good news bad news", could not get any weirder.
That was untill the entire cast of "The Mouse Trap" and "Cats" materialised. A large piece of Carrot Cake fell from the sky.
the plot was well and truely lost.

(This thread will, of course, form the plotline of the next "Dirk Gently" sequel...)

....the bad news being that Wowbagger might not release the rights to the thread........he has this forum well and truly tied up with a 200 year copyright......the good news could be,however,that...

the iceberg is covered in fridge magnets and the power of magnotherapy revives all the penquins.

Meanwhile Skippy the bush kangaroo

realises that the copyright is actually owned by a spurious band of toons know as L&PP......and instantly applies for a transfer to.......

is photographed cavorting in a billabong with an underage wallaby, while Jenny Augutter looks on. The headline reads ..."

Walla, Walla, jump, jump, bang

In down town detroit a man dies of heart failure. his life would not be remembered. somewhere in the artic an iceburg floats, ontop of the iceburg are a group of penguins, these penguins have a story. A story that has been told by many, belived by few, and cared about by even less. This is there story.......

and the story is about skippy flying over to the States when he was informed about the deadman in Detroit by the penguins. Skippy found the man and started bouncing on his chest (the mans not Skippy's). Although he broke a few ribs doing it, the man .......

Hah! They had all but forgotten about Batman! Always managed to put the nasty Penguin Behind Bars! So it came to pass, Penguins safely locked up in the soap factory at last. A search by the Improbability Police reveals they were Not carrying Equity Cards! They are probably DOOMED!

....errr....The End ?

The bad news, unfortunately, was that it wasn't. The good news was that the next person to read this should feel obliged to start a new thread, as I'm far too lazy. (That was the GOOD news???)

....the bad news (or good news) is that i agree with Peet.

A man with more time than brains introduces the sequel to this ripping yarn at -

http://www.h2g2.com/addnewthread.cgi?forum=11864

where it is enigmatically called "But Wait, There's More"