h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think the name of the penguin must be BBC. Big Black Critter.

ahhhhhh...and there was I thinking it meant *B****y Boring C**p!!!

Oh yea, of so little imagination, knowledge and foresight, never mind babes. Guess you are too young to remember Dr Who then..........

By amazing coincidence in the audience to hear BBC the penquin sing was a person strangely resembling Michael Jackson. Yes that's right he looked, acted and was extremely strange.

After the concert he approached BBC and offered him ......

... a lifetime award for the best rendition of *the lonely goatherd* ever heard....and a once in a lifetime chance to....

Cure the disease which made him white. He decided.....

....that this sounded like an offer he'd be a fool to refuse...but then Penguins have never been known for smarts......so he opted instead to........

...star in its own 5 part mini-series entitled...

Ugnip - the lost episodes from........

...Atlantis. Slightly soggy but still .....

Pierdolone Kawaly! Chladi Plates would hardly disloge the output from the Crovas Disc. However, some sense could possibly made from either the Johansen Effect, if you took into account the dangers of Barkhausen Symphony, those magnetic domains are ever so easy to detect. That of course would not exempt anybody from the effects of the devastating Rijkesh Tubes.
Grah, try to Outweird a Vogon Snow Lizard?

I think my Babel Fish is playing up again.

Either that or our penguin friend has fallen into a bizzare (!) parallel universe in which his tv mini series has been replaced by...

some sort of extraterrestrian gardening machine which is....

intent on taking over Canada for the dasterdly purpose of...

one network at a time taking over all of the cheap American tabloid shows and replacing them with reruns of an alternate Universe version of Red Dwarf in which all of the characters are female except the onboard computer which is called Ralph and makes a good cup of replicated Earl Grey.

However, viewership on the FOX network was very low because most of the nitwit pop culture junkies in the United States were...

too busy trying to make sense of the convoluted twists and turns of.....

"Freeway", the hilarious one-dog spinoff from "Hart to Hart", guest-starring "Eddie" from Frasier.

Thw Good news, however was that "Freeway" was played by...

...Jennifer Anniston, She was perfect for the part because her head resembled an upside down triangle. She was just fresh from filming a spoof version of.....

"Airplane" where all the comic asides were replaced with a dull story of a plane journey in peril.

Which is a weird co-incidence because just at that moment in the skies above the penguin...

loomed the dark shadow of the worlds' favourite airline....owned by the notorious Mr Garibaldi who......