h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The iceberg slowly moves northwards.....

But a sudden change in current turns it southwards and...

.....a colony of King Penquins suffer from whiplash.

All is not lost though because floating past is a......

large group of pilot whales who like nothing better then to...

...pop into shallow bays where they can entertain humans with their strange skill of swimming on land. A skill some humans replicate when walking on water. A word of warning: this skill should not be used if you have holes in your feet.

Meanwhile things are heating up on the iceberg. I think the penquins are plotting to......

...tow it to Tasmania and sell it to the Devils living there because they could really do with some ice for there G & T's! This plot may fall foul,however,because...

The QE2 is in the way - and it will destroy the iceberg never caring if it sinks itself because......

...on board are a colony of nuns dressed up as King Penguins and their choral singing is drowning out the QE2s.......

death lament of the chugging engines. The nuns are on board because.....

.....of a dodgy ticket deal organised by a corrupt official at the Vatican's travel agency.

What is that coming over the horizon? Could it posibly be........

...Captain Marvel, saviour to all good kiddies everywhere?

Unfortunately, just when it seemed that he was going to do something about this mess...

He was re-integrated back into picture he had so ruthlessly torn in order to make his escape! This resulted in an embarassing hole in his.......

...space/time continuum. The good news was that this was actually a help to the penguins because...

...he also has a secret recipe to make the iceberg a beautiful lime/lemon colour/flavour and knows where a grove of Juniper trees are growing....alas while the penquins were chatting a school of hungry orcas began circling the iceberg. Are they doomed or are they....

...just going to become fodder for Billy Connelly's latest "World Tour Of Somewhere I'm Touring As A Comedian So I'm Being Paid Twice?". It could be that or is it Michael Palin's latest "Going From One Place To Some Place Else" series? Or even Clive James' latest "Postcard From A Place Where I Look Like A Fat Sweaty Perosn Who Doesn't Belong"?

While all of these English based travel celebrity documentary makers slowly trampled the orcas (their natural enemy) the good news was...

I have been made redundant. The whole saga is posted on my home page. Just above the new entry on killing cockroaches. It seemed appropriate.

The extra good news is if you read the whole article there is a promise of free drinks at the bottom. I am not making this up. Real wet alcoholic free drinks.

Oh Looney - I'm sorry. Is this why you've changed your name AGAIN.
SO I now have to change my link to you.

Read the article and enjoy. I named this forum Good News Bad News a day before the axe fell.

In that case we better lay this thread to rest....and come and cheer you up!!

Sorry about that. Hadn't read the article and thought that this was a bit like "Flash Gordon+Rolf Harris": http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=14180&thread=14318
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Woebegone