h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sitting here whiling away the time on my last day of work at a hellish call-centre. At the moment I haven't gone further than adding cryptic notes to all the files that I've looked into...Maybe by five I'll be telling people just what I think of them.

Anyone got any suggestions for me?

You could always borrow this one, which I used when leaving one place. I didn't get on with my manager and was so glad to be leaving.

As I left, I said, "I've enjoyed working somewhere where everyone is really nice, even the managers. So I'm going to go back there as soon as I leave this s**thole."

The best leaving lines are often the shortest.

When a young man of my acquaintance was on his last day in a call center he'd built up 45 minutes in washroom breaks, besides his 30 minute paid break and 15 minutes unpaid break. He spent all these breaks running outside for a smoke. When his team lead called him up to discuss this, he told him he really didn't care, it was his last shift.

I do public opinion and research studies. They're really fussy about us not influencing the answers. It would be really fun to get the person's response then say "Really! I'd have thought you'd have said --whatever--, or I'd answer it this way" My monitor report would be a thing of beauty!