h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Jenny. I have noticed you seem to keep appearing in most of the forums i go into, so i thought i ought to tell you a bit about me so you can say "hi" if you are passing in some sort of way. I live in Leicestershire in a town called Kibworth. This is not at all interesting, other than the fact that Henfield is about 148 miles from Kibworth. When you consider that most of these people talking are from the otherside of the world, it sort of makes you feel all protective of your own kind. Well, howdy neighbour.

Howdy neighbour, i am proud to have been noticed by you, Hi! I've never heard of Kibworth but i'm sure its about as interesting as Henfield, not much, sorry that was evil. Can you hear me from there perhapse i should shout, perhapse not. It's nice to know not everyone here is american, this seems to be my general experiance of the web, they're bloomin everywhere arnt they?

Yep. They sure are. They are like cocroaches. (if we had cocroaches in england). I think it is important for us Brits to stick together, and stop those Yanks from taking over the world. If you are with me say "Death to uncle sam".

DEATH TO UNCLE SAM there are cockroaches in England i saw one the other day, i think, perhapse it was a product of my deranged emagination.

I'm an American...I'm sorry for being such a cockroach to you and your fellow Brits. I will now go walk off a bridge to help you in your fight against dear old uncle Sam.

[walks off bridge]

I really apreciate that, what a nice thing to do, however you are still an american so i must shun you

I walked off of a bridge for you (granted, it's not a rather high bridge, and the water I fell into was rather cool and refreshing) and you still shun me? I don't know whether that makes you a typical Brit, or just a typical woman.

i'm sorry i do not shun you, much, i hope i am not a typical anything, i try to promote a reputation of freakyness but people still sometimes think i'm normal

It is nice to know that even the scum of the eath can be resoned with (in some form). I am of course talking about the cocraches. Whether or not they are found in england is sill open for debate. I know that they are in london zoo, because I have seen them on the tely. But wherether there are any in the actual england bit of england, i do not know. I think this would make an interesting title for an article. I am not writing it though. I have too much work to do before school starts again. And with the use of the trusty fish I can do that and make Britain strong. (what am i going on about?) well if you are with me then i KNOW you are against me. and before long i will shut up, just till this madness bores a hole into your soul, and blood runs from the cracks in your knees. (EEUUUWWW) and finally, i must say that unless at least 50% of the brittish poulation take up playing games on the net, i will be forced to let loose the powers of darkness and the atomic, uhhh, atoms onto America. God save her soul from being bored into and blood running from the crackis in her knees. (EEEUUUWW) if she is a she. (ahhh, theyre swimming in a line. aint that cute!!)

Jenny - Hi, welcome as you are to live in my biscuits I feel that I ought to point out that I am in fact a SHE not a HE (Despite what you might of read on other forums regarding a fetching (evil) moustache).
I think I know Henfield, I used to live in Burgess Hill, for my sins...

Euew Burgess Hill, not really, actualy i was there the other day with some freinds who were chatting up ten year olds, they're my freinds i know i should be responseble for them but i tried i really did. Evilist please do release all evil on America, however i fear most of it is there alredy, spelling is irrelevant

I hope that you don't have anything against either Dwarves or Australians. I've got nothing against you Brits.

i have nothing whatsoever against dwarves but Australians are a bit dodgy, i think you'll be reasonably accepted though, just smile and you'll be fine have some cake

(releasing all evil on america)- Ahhh. More fish. How cute. People seem to think that us brits are of course boring, dull, uninteresting, grey, bad teeth, and speak with very strong cockney or posh british accent. As this is just some myth created by.... AMERICANS, i have no choice but to release all the evil of the world upon them. May 15 nuclear bombs teach those evil, niahlistic, sneering americans that us brits are more useful than we are made out to be. After all, we did colonise america in the first place. And the american revolution - The americans didnt win because there were no americans then. They were just the british settelers who revolted agaisnt british rule. SO YOU ARE BRITISH TOOO. Yah boooo. And i still release my evil, as although you may be our decendants, you are also the scum of the earth (no offense) and should be cleansed. And so show the sign of the fish to remove this plague from our world. Especially as they insist on making very bad films, and having the most high pitched sqeaky voices imaginable.

very well done, are they dead now or just in very great suffering?

I refuse to be called a Brit. And most (if not all ) Brits are boring and dull. There are obviously a few (very few) exceptions though.

how dare you! Brits are not boring or dull, we just have to take a proper consideration for embaressment, we enjoy a quiet snooze and we are all secretly insane

Obviously nasty nasty gemeli is either refering to my statement about americans actually being brits, or i a traitor to her country and should be destroyed. I prefer the latter. But of course i am most likely wrong. Anyhow it is very naughty to be so steriotypical of the brits. Of course, WE are allowed to stereotype the americans, but when it is done to us we should rise up in fury and shun them to some backword dark corner. Anyway, i have my OWN computer now, but it has no conection to the net as of yet and so it may be long gaps of at least 3 days between each reply i make. PLease do not be sad if i dont reply quickly.
here are some fish.

blame America, they are responsible for everything bad, they have no right blameing canada

But Canada are also just as bad. I have an (evil) Grandmother who lives in Vancouver, and she insists on sending us the must ugly clothes imaginable (this is no exaggeration). She also seems to enjoy sending me information on the Canadian colleges. It is a well known fact that Brittish Collages are way better here than in America and in Canada. But she is too stuborn to realise this. anyway we all try to ignore her and wish she would go away. She makes my life hell. (not that it isnt anyway).