h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

how could anything that takes its name from a piece of fruit be any good. i think that they should all be burnt and people should dance around and chant things. Yes.

Thank you very much. It's too bad that, by using the term "pc" you are paying homage to apple, as the term Personal Computer was invented by Apple Computers. They're interface is user friendly, much more so than DOS or (haha) Windows, which was invented to be like the original Mac OS but doesn't quite match it's elegance and simplicity. I'm glad you think so highly of me, and my intelligence. I agree that the iMac is not Apple's best computer, but the G3 and the G4 are wonderful computers, both better than any Windows compatible machine out there. As far as I'm concerned, this is the end of the argument. I don't go out of my way to insult your intellect based on your computer and I wish you'd refrain from judging me on mine.

To quote the Yardbirds:

Can you judge a wiseman
By the way he speaks or spells
Is this more important
Than the stories that he tells?

we wern't insulting you just your computer

Careful what you say. I mean I know we all deserve to die, like, but you can't help feeling sorry for us, can you? Ignorant fools that we are. Honestly, we just don't know any better, which is easily a sin unto itself but there's nothing we can really do, is there, short of being conquered by an appropriate empire and completely revamped, which alas is unlikely seeing as we've let ourselves get to be so many and so heavily armed.

Still, on behalf of the rest of the pitiful cattle of north America (excluding Canada as they can be violent when they feel they have been in any way violent and I therefore am quite afraid of them and glad I live at the bottom of the US), I apologise most humbly and sincerely.

Um, that second "violent" should have been "violated." See what I mean? Complete imbeciles, the lot of us. It's pathetic.

If you think that Macs are good then you need your brain removed and battered with a large piece of stone. Here are my 10 reasons why.

1. Apples are rubbish
2. You cannot upgrade an apple. try taking it apart.
3. iMacs dont have floppy drives
4. Windows may crash a lot, but hey, we like a challenge
5. Try finding apple software - anyware.
6. And how expensive do you think an apple is?
7. We all hate bill gates for having so much money, but is is all sooo good.
8. Appples are way too heavy.
9. ibook? Have i seen that design somewhere before????
10. The Pc is much more innovative. You can upgrade it when new technology comes out, simply by opening it up, and putting new bits in. There is a hole for everything. You dont have to have a ridiculously long piece of wire. Apples may have been better earlier on, but now they are just second rate. Software manufactureres prefer to make pc software, as it is easier for them, and just much better.


so there smart lizzard. take that. razzzzzzzz.


And without computers, none of this would be possible so nyahhh.



Oh, and as in this forum, i seem to have judged people by all sorts of criteria (Nationality, regligioun, sainness....) i think i should be able to judge them by their computers. Because of course, i am the best person in the world.


(falls off his high horse. "way too high. I broke my leg." crawls away into the shadows.)

Ah yes, but the first stage of ceasing to be an imbecile is recognising that you are an imbecile. As you have done.

Nah. The first stage is actually being the imbecile. If you skip that bit, there's nothing to cease being.

The next stage, I think, is deciding what to pack.

Perhaps I'll go and be an Irish nationalist. That'd be fun.

It wouldn't be fun for very long, but no one lives forever.

You're quite right.

Next you need to decide which type of toothpaste you are going to use. This is the one of the most important decisions you will ever make.

Minty kind.

Oh that's good.

And what type of watch do you prefer? Analog or digital?

And, er... what am I talking about?

Of course digital watches. I cant be bothered to spend 2 minutes trying to work the time, when i can get it instantly, by lookin at 4 blocks, made up af a grid of 7 lines.

And digital watches make beeping noises when you press buttons.


But the worst thing is digital anologue watches - they are digital but they dont tell numbers - they show hands. Which is the most stupid invention of the 20th centurary. If we want a watch with hands we will buy an analogut one.

Kinetic watches are pretty cool though.

i've lost my watch, has anyone seen it?

sorry!
how about asking fred

Fred says he hasn't seen your watch but he does have that umbrella you lost last year

What does a cheese want with an umbrella?

He uses it as a shield against mice with oversized teeth,

I know I'm a bit late to get in on thith converthation but I come in peace and give you thith warning. There ith a rather nathty viruth about which maketh every th you type turn into a th. Jutht thought I'd warn you.
Mr Fithh

Great for you mr.fith.

And Happy new millennium to everyone (including americans, even though we entered the millennium before you).

You know that now we can write 00 for the date. But we will not be able to use the year for the date for a long time.... confused?

Wellll.....

The first of september 1999, would be written as 1.9.99 , which is also the year. Get it? But as there is no month written as 0, we will not be able to use this entertaining trick untill the year 2100.

(by which time i will be dead) (i hope)

The second of january, no less. But why the wish to die? Why would anyone want to miss flying cars, food in tablet form, and shiny bacofoil clothes?