h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But would we realy want to destroy canada and all that lovely scenery?

ummmmmmm..... yes. Arn't i naughty doing all this internetting before 6pm. tee hee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. (falls off a chair and sustains very nasty paper cut). ow.

I thought you were evil anyway

ummm. oh yeah. I forgot. Actually the term Evilist describes my natural ability to basically be mean to my friends, but in a way that does not make them hate me, but just laugh and sort of smile a bit. I think.

Who want's freinds you can't be mean to?

Yeah, quite.

you can't be too mean though or you tend not to have many freinds.

I'm mean to all my friends but I don't usually lose them mainly because they all have alumanus orange pupper jackets(is it me or does no one under stand the idea behind puffer jakets)

You don't lose your freinds because they wear luminous bomber jackets? ah the humour that can be gleaned from faked misunderstandings, did i say humour? perhaps not.

no realy if the ware luminou coloured jacket they are very diffucult to lose unless of course they find a clif in the middle of brentwood(largeish town in essex(where I live))

As Jenny once so wisely said - "spelling is irrelivant"

i didn't say it originally, like so many (but not THAT many) of my ever amusing lines i just picked it up somewhere on my ever continuos search for the ultimate in humour. SLATFATF lol.

Heres is spooky Haloween story that will really scare you:

Listen Children to my tale.
One thousand years ago, zenoth the evil druid of the realm of mortona, was casting evil spells onto people, to make their heads fall off, as if by accident. He accidentaly misread the name zenoph to be his own, and caused his own head to fall off (as if by accident).

Recently in the modern town of Birmingham, the ancient tomb of zenoth was descovered, and was broken into by thieves looking for a cheap drink.

As they peeled back the cover of the grave, suddenly (as if by accident) the body of zenoth sprang back to life and grabbed the thievs. The next day the police descoverd the dead bodies of four men, who had all had their brains removed through their noses.

The police decided that a gang of muggers had done it, so they waited by the grave the next night to see if they came back.

The next morning they were found to have been skelatised (only their dry skeletons were found). They had no fingers and no hip bones.

The tomb then dissapeard and then they had a party. And their was some brain and hip and finger soup, that everyone thought was sushi.



Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

*cowers behind sofa* how scary. really. ahhhh.

how come they couldn't tell the difference every one knows human tasts like chicken not raw fish, or did you mean squishy(a type of raw flesh dish but softer)

uhhhh, yeah

*comes out from behind sofa looking foolish* absolutely, you know there are little people back there!

Now that halloween has gone back into the calendar cupboard untill next year, it is a safe time to say that the story was infact all made up. Copyright 1999 Evilist ©. All rights reserved. Any similarities betwwen this story and any other are all purley coincidental. Any written downings at all of anything to do with zenoth the priest will be severly dealt with and will definitly lead to prosicution. Any one who copies my story will be hit over the head with a large hammer in the shape of a novelty hat. Oh yes.

yeah ok so if I copy any of that your going to hit me with a hat?

I may be American, and I may be a cockroach, but the researcher who goes by the name Uncle Sam is a very nice guy and should not be shunned or anything evil like that. I like british people. The Beatles were British, and Monty Python was British, and well, I guess I have you to blame for the Spice Girls, but you've got to put up with our Hanson, so enough of that. James Bond is british, too, and he's very cool (though probably not the kind of guy I'd hang out with on a regular basis). A friend of mine (Irving Washington to all of you) keeps telling me about how annoying his room mate is, and his room mate is definately NOT british, so that's something else good about the Biritish, too. The Who, they were cool. I saw them live once, a very good show (though they were old). I hope I've groveled enough at your british feet. I'm going to go drink some tea now...