h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Grrrr... I do not understand, I am a bear of little brain. In fact it's just stuffing. What is Un-intentional Suicide????


WbB

MURDER!!!!
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!

No murder would me assisted un intentional suicide

un intentional would be driving off a cliff by accident

Which has a great laugh value to it.

If you like that kind of humour...
Forgive me for being nosey (or alternatively don't forgive me), but I was just wondering what your choice of method of committing suicide would be?
(little smiley with ? above it)

atach a metal collar to a very long chain, posing as a window cleaner measure the exact difference from the office of someone you particularly dislike and blame for your current state of mind to the top of the building in which they work (this will only work if you know and dislike someone who works in a tall building), adjust the chain to this exact length. Travel to the top of this building a second time and attach the chain firmly to the roof parallel with their office, put the collar around your neck, be sure it fits snugly. It may be a good idea to phone the person you dislike at this point to check they are in their office or you might be a bit peeved. jump and experience the elation of bungee jumping before a swift decapitation right in front of their eyes.

I'd have to go in a silly and ironic way, which I can't think of now. I'll have to get back to you.

It may end in the phrase, "In case I don't see you - Good afternoon, good evening and goodnight!"

Or maybe not.

Does anyone know any good last words?

ie:
Lord Palmerston "Die my dear doctor?! That's the last thing I shall do!"
Picasso "Drink to me, drink to my health. You know I can't drink any more."
Shakespeare "Why didn't I include that monkey joke in Hamlet???" (Okay, so the last one isn't strictly true.)

how about "what happens if i press this button", "I'm sure everything will be all right", "they look freindly Aliens" or "I like jelly, don't you?"

'Of course it's unbreakable glass. Look I'll show you....'
'Only the quiet ones bite'

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandad. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

"Calm down, it was only a dream..."
"Was it something I said-" (probably, in my case - and definately my father's)
"No no no, that bit goes there and you put this in there and then it won't electrocute you - there see?-"

I think I speak for a lot of us here (well, me anyway) when I say "passengers?"

Passengers = ie train/bus/plane driver who fell asleep and crashed.

Deaths can be quite amusing, you hear tales which may or may not be true of incredibly stupid people. Ie, the person who had a diet of nothing but curry and baked beans, and never opened his window, and suffocated to death through methane poisoning.

I don't like talking about suicide, Grrrr, it's so depressing. Let's talk about something more happy, like cornflakes.

WbB

Like no-one ever choked to death on cornflakes?

was buried alive in cornflakes?

was eaten by (no, no, calm down you fool, they'll be thinking you're strange)

Did you see the film "Honey I shrunk The Kids"? In that, the children were almost eaten along with cornflakes (or another cereal - I forget which one it was). So next time you eat cornflakes and you find something unexpectedly crunchy or chewy, it may well be a shrunken child from next door.

Oops

It's very worrying when you forget to think of these things, isn't it?