Have you been awarded the rank of vogon poet yet? If not, shove off, or one of my guards will come and get you!

If you HAVE been awarded the rank of Vogon poet then feel free to come in, and throw your mean, heartless self into sharp relief by adding some poetry at the bottom of the page!

Poetry

Written by Atari on the 31st of January 2003

To flurbulously be,

a zorkim of pure murtulous degree,

a terromichly wipulum of me For exurled hut in tulred mut in glutuled non-glee,

I petulate you to flee,

in notulatne klee

for as the hemat keeps gloobeling in terrible shepadta,

the wondreb webas nartualently dhepadta

for the lamtuant blookals continue to destroy the flabupadta

Written by Kess on the 4th of Febuary 2003

The hotel was a piece of mouldy cherry cake,

it was a barometer on a winters day,

I hated it

Another hotel was inside my head,

it flew away out my eye,

I went crosseyed

Hotels are inoperculate places,

squinancy peeble hum,

swipple swire I said

A sybbe felwort ferrate nib,

once pinged a porbeagle,

I said still crosseyed

Argot kali minda mon,

(oh look its a small squidge of gunge that i found last night on the inside of a 64D shape)

my eyes are stuck oh well

There was a hotel on the telly once,

that was when I was still a embreo

dunno 'bout that one...

Written by Stealth Kam on the 4th of Febuary

Cheesey weesy thou art much in the convestable

Esurient ain't the half of it boyo me lad

Cheese give it to me like blood to bug

Me I like cheese

Cheese for thou art like the foot that attract the mosquito

Cheese is what I want

Cheese is what I need

Cheese heals all wounds

I Cheese

Written by Utter Bewilderment on the 9th of Febuary

O moistly burbling gloobleslug,

Wommit gurgle dlug,

Beneath thy sloopy krebtious klob,

In undulating glob.

Flumptiously he glurmed,

That gloptuous blobbleworm,

Slumped in hrumgish garglefloop,

Dripping with blurtious gloop,

Amidst thy blahly yaargleslob,

Thou flottelously throb,

And blurtle quite goloptiously,

Dloopmunterous you be,

Flobbering in slooptious glee,

Go, nargulously flee!

Squoggle thee thy zlaarted goose,

Thou scaptious klobbermoose!

Written by 2legs on the 13th of Febuary 2003

Gooorblinkiem, eyes befall, maulantitanous was is, the door!

Gambish hair, the floor cover as it korwerbles,

Fllurbling the hall, cowering hair,

Its on the bathroom floor

I'll currandle the hair, lampash it to smitherakinies see it laugh now?

No, its tarashinized to zarliness, never hair no more,

Render the floor free of hair, mazmaculus in floor,

Hair no more as it was see if it doesn't

Written by Stealth Kam on the 12th of Febuary 2003

O' Parsnip do your dance in my tummy wummy

Be much with giving of de-hungerment

You put me on a mission for them greens

Parsnips you know how to party

Keep your Pizza

I here for the root!

I'm not chattin' about none of your Larch now

You claim to be bland

Let it be told now

Parsnip could rock your block

Not just for the soup but the roast as well

None of your faking Swedes for me

Written by Darth Zaphod on the 18th of Febuary

Oh how wibledy is my hooberdie bobble

That wishes and washes like skrippy nusekopple

Nay, My fine Frappy feline moople dippies! Thou canst EVER dapipple my excrapilitious farflecknoogle!

OOOH Great Waffle, of fair syrupie soup and crunchie toast nuggets...FIFFLE! FIFFLE! Thou art SO STINKY!

Written by Deus ex machina on the

Oh turlingdromes in belgiumtrow, jujuflops to the same,

An ezcratiud of a gabbleblotchit.

And neither photonic torvex

In the buj of nalca

Will drun as such heared there in dissonance.

Jwanic in the most,

But hurtenflurst only in the night therefore,

Cawrpottenly, moose.

Vachidnik then so nacturations

Not devischable to me

For then such, and ever after

No, zootlewhirdle.

Written by Utter Bewilderment on the 13th July

Amidst thy skaaptuous heap of dead hair

Upon gunken bathroom floor

You sacrafice a gloobleslug

With flurbulistic glee

Grrrr.... Bathspider!

Zlaart thee to eternal plugholedom!

Zlaart every millimetre of thy stringsome limbs

Thy flaarbling, wabbly hairy legs!

Gurgle blurgle plughole,

Plinketty plink dungspiders,

Mungle dunger straggy black dead hairs,

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Piffle, utter piffle!

PIFFLE.