h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Scratches vest to release odour of library book being returned in good time*
Good on ya DD! May the 4th be with you!

oh, poo.

(snips the shoulders of Vestboy's vest, grabs it and takes off running.)

*Vest armwrestles Red Fox to the ground. Releases several odours not conducive to keeping your lunch inside yourself and hurtles back to Vestboy.*

Ah, well. I give up.

(releases Vestboy from his bonds and simulatneously challenges him to an all out brawl.)

*scratches vest to release odour of "See you outside!"*
And if I'm not there in 5 minutes start without me.

*pauses for breath*

(glances at the winded Librarian, then pulls a giant sword from somewhere within his leather Jacket. Unbeknowst to any but Redfox, most of his personal property is contained within the Jacket. This causes it to weigh near a metric tonne and it would most likely weigh under a pound if he took the stuff out. Fortunately, he got it from a magical coats emporium awhile back and it has trouble keeping several cars as well as weapons inside.)

(He drops the one bladed, massive sword down to his knees. he looks remarkably like Nightmare from the Soul Calibur series in stance.)

Bring it, you vest-wearing malcontent!

*polishes glasses and waits to find out is his attack had any effect on Kudos has had any effect*