h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A most interesting problem has arisen here...

It appears that the planet may be an acient alien artifact.

We do not know what it can do, but my investigations seem to suggest it is capable of universe destruction...

Oooo, sounds like fun. Count me in!

Ah, yes. Basically, there are three forums. One for STUMPED planning and relaxation, one for CHOPPERS planning and relaxation, and forum for battling.

Ok, so what's the plan? Sit, relax, and hope more STUMPED members show up?

Pretty much.


I baited the sooper heroes here too...

*NYC enters and surveys disapprovingly at the wreckage that dares to be called a war room*

What is this? As all you villains should know, we don't have the track record of successes; we're known for our STYLE! And a bombed out hovel is not STYLISH! What the- who picked this decor? Are you colorblind?!

*NYC pulls out a pistol and shoots a random red-shirted evil legion guard for effect, and drops several duffel-bags of equipment in the corner*

Yeah, so we're gonna need some defences in here, look at the hole is the ceiling, you could land a jet through that! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!?!

Hell yeah! Now we're back in business.

[to Red] So what'd you tell the good guys to get them here? That we were going to destroy the universe...again?

don't worry about it, guys, i've got it under control.

*exits, then re-enters with interior decorator in tow*

go to it. spare no expense!

*Various loud construction noises and dust and smoke arise to a almost unbearable level for a few minutes, and then die down. A while later, and the dust settles, presenting the new war room*

Ooh! I like it! Kind of like the retro 50's sci fi theme in an "if the Cold War went wrong" motif. I especially like the authentic-looking spinning tapes over on the wall; they just scream UNIVAC - not to mention the big flashing map of the planet on the opposite wall! McCarthy would have loved this, honorary villain that he was. NOW I feel better about capturing heros and grilling them in THIS sort of place.

*evil lighting on NYC's face*

NOTHING says evil like faceless and sanitized. >=]

*grins*

thank you, martha, that will do.

*hands martha a handful of hundreds, takes her into a nearby large city, erases her memory of the lair, and releases her*

(Most happy some people are here)

Well, part of the idea was to have EVERYONE have a little fun, so...

I see you... skullock... yo... sea...

...me...

and the original plan was formless...

and pre-me posts were a week ago...

bah. don't worry about it, NYC. we villains always have fun, don't we?

No point, anyway. I got the Super Hero/Villan Wars started again, so...

that was the only point.

[over the radio]Incoming prisoner, prepare something suitible to torture a librarian!

*NYC readies stacks upon stacks of long overdue library books, all with dog-eared corners, coffee stains and, evil of evil, page rips. All of them happen to be NYC's, but who's counting? *

MU HA HA HA!

*the computer tapes start spinning, and little clicks and beeps indicate that something triggered its backup routines. Half a millisecond later, a black helicopter pops into existence, hovering in the center of the war room - deafening the area with its rotors and screaming henchmen, and blanketing everything with a fierce wind that knocks papers left and right, among other things knocking over NYC's carefully placed pile of library books*

[NYC] AAAAUGH!

[henchmen] AAAAAAAAAUUUGHH!!

[NYC & henchmen] AAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGH!!

*then, just as suddenly, the helicopter pops out of existence. NYC is a bit frazzled, but decides to leave the books strewn about the floor for effect. He picks one up, licking his thumb to turn the page, and begins highlighting passages with a felt marker*

[Lt]I've been ordered to turn over custidy of this hero to you and to assist in anyway possible.

*The Dewey Demon, mid-transformation, spies the carnage around him and stops struggling*



*can't take it all in*

*NYC put the liutenant in charge to continue the torture, and leaves so as not to cause any rift in space/time were the black helicopter ever to make it back to STUMPED HQ in NYC on board. Several henchmen sidle up and train their automatic weapons on the Dewey Demon, were he to get any foolish thoughts of escape. The Liutenant laughs and starts bookmarking pages by folding the corners*