h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It´s not completely accurate, maybe it was
"i´ve had love-affairs with a lot of.."
(and some of them maybe did´nt even notice)

"There are 3 roads to Hell - gambling, women, and believing experts. Gambling is the quickest, women is the most enjoyable, but believing experts is the most certain."

Charles de Gaulle

"Hell ain´t no bad place to be"
AC/DC
"i bet u 10bucks that i can quit gamblin´,-just like that "
Recovering ludomaniac?
"..Women!..Can´t live with ´em. ..-Can´t live with ´em!"
dunno which hardcore misogynic should be "acredited" for that,either..?
"Tobacco is the most common cause for statistics"
Phillip Morris?

It's just a ride - Bill Hicks

It's something to do with the transperambulation of pseudo cosmic anti matter - Many of Robert Rankins books (whenever he wants to explain something wierd)

From The Brentford Chainstore Massacre also by Robert Rankin.

Jim Pooley is trying to send his mind back in time to witness something important (just read the book)

Jim Pooley "Om"
John O'mally "Why is Jim Omming?"
Professor Slocombe "I've no idea"
Jim Pooley "Om off to Alabama with a banjo on my knee"

"Men. Can't live with um and there's no hunting Season either."
~Pandora-b.a.t.

"I'm my own person me, aren't we Barbara? - Wendy

From Life of Brian:

Brian: "You are *all* individuals!"
Crowd: "Yes. We are all individuals."
Anonymous voice down the back: "Well I'm not."

Cracks me up every time I see it.

"We don't need no education!"
~Pink Floyd

"I can't imagine what empty heads can achieve."
~Ozzy

'Is our children still learning?'

George Bush. After this, he pulled a Clinton and debated the meaning of the word 'is'

also 'She didn't appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meat' - Seinfeld

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all.-Paul Simon

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it's a wonder I can think at all.-Paul Simon

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns a lesson he can learn in no other way.
* * Mark Twain * *

RtC

"Wine is fine-but whiskey is quicker
Suicide is slow with liquer.."
-Also a word o´wisdom from Uncle Ozzy

"Loosing your temper is not the same as getting rid of anger."

~Jack Nickelson; in:'Anger MAnagement'.

boris your my bother so think like my bother get some else to steal that f**king stone, you just have it get back to me the americans can't know it was russian, and one more thing it might help he loves to gamble.
~boris the blade's bother (snatch)

These are my favourite quotes from the film "As good as it gets":

1. Carol: When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke.

2. Melvin Udall: I'm drowning here, and you're describing the water!

3. Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: Easy. I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

4. Melvin Udall to Simon, who is in a wheelchair: Don't worry, you'll be back on your knees in no time.

is it safe? is it safe? is it safe? is it... i put the oil on the skin an rub his ba...is it safe?
~randle grant (clerks cartoon)

Sorry, Pandora

'Temper is the one thing you can't get rid of, by losing it'

also, to a Buddhist monk, played by John C. Reilly, shortly before he loses it;

'(Adam Sandler's character) said he refuses to take lessons in self-discipline from a 600lb guy who hasn't stood up in 500 years.'

..or something like that