h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Back]: I think we've picked up a stalker.

[Front]: What do you mean? We? It's you he seems to be following.

I'm having a bit of trouble keeping up with everyone/everything, is everybo- hey! What a view!

*from several steps down the outward face of the cliff* Hey everybody, I just found a nice grassy spot out of the wind where we can rest up after that tunnel experience. Look, you can see H2G2 Island and Mt. Sandeverest!

*goes to join Lil*

The sun is lovely and warm out of the wind.

Have you got the tea things?

We can wait for the next scene to unfold and see it pretty well from here. *sights up the spire* I'm definitely going to levitate up there. Look how the stairs are overhung with rock in places! And there's no guard rail.

*Pansy finally reaches the top of the stairs, still dressed in full climbing gear. She is puffing and panting heavily*

Phew! *puff*

That was a long climb! *pant*

I wish someone could have given me a leg over. *huff*

Or... *puff*

Do I mean... *pant*

A leg up? *phew*

*Pansy collapses in a heap and just manages to faintly call out:*

Does anyone have a drink? I need a stiff one.

*three mice pop out of Pansy's bonnet and jump to the ground*

Thank you kindly.
Thank you kindly.
Thank you kindly.

All:

We made it through the tunnel in one piece!
Except for Cookie Monster. Rest in Peace.

Hickory Dickory Dock!
Pansy must change her frock!
Sir Humpty can't wait
to climb to his fate
And we have recovered the Glock.

Hickory Dickory Doof!
The Pantomime Cow is ahoof
She'll climb yonder spire
And never once tire
Until she stands on the world's roof.

Hickory Dickory Daughter!
The Puss and the Duck both need water!
To fall like a flash
Or have a nice splash
They both have to do what they oughter.

Hickory Dickory Dong!
The rest of the cast come along
Robyn to pinch
and Mary to clinch
With a stranger if the sheep gets it wrong.

Hickory Dickory Dell!
We cannot forget Cinderell
Or Thistle who sneezes
At flowers and weedses
And everything else as well.

1: What comes next?
2: Have we remembered everybody?
3: Time to make our final plans.

All: sh-sh-sh-sh!

*they adjust their fedoras and dark glasses, wave their canes, and head for the spiral stairs*

*Thistle finally emerges from the cave*

Excuse me, but does this...bunny belong to any of you, I found her on the stairs.

Huff...puff...huff...puff...

*Carmellies gasping where Thistle has set her down.*

Finally, a nice cosy cave, and it has steps almost as tall as I am! Huff...puff...I don't mean to be a bother...huff...puff...but is does seem terribly unfair...huff...puff...

*applauds the * Very nice!

*applauds the entry of the rest of the cast and louder still for the *

It looks as if the cast are all assembling for the next riddle.

*applauds the mice *joins everyone for *

(B4 reaches into his adventure-battered satchel and produces the tea settings. The ornate sterling tray enhances the delicate floral patterns of the bone china cups; the dainty spoons and sundry utensils are easy for even a Thistle or Carmel to hold. There are several creamers, sugar bowls with cane and 'raw' assorted, wedges of lemon and lime[?], and a large jar of clover honey [manf. on MaGoose Island itself, so you KNOW it's good!] that's flavored with a hint of apple. There are also a variety of muffins, bisuits, scones, and whole-grain toast breads set beside serving dishes of whole-cream butter. Numerous small jars of marmalades, jams and preserves from a plethora of fruits and berries top off the lavish spread.)

[B4] Um, Lil? Where do you reckon we can set up for the repast? Or--knowing some of the characters--the riposte? ... And do you think we have time for all this...?

*applauds*

Those are quite talented!

*Looks down at Carmel .*

Oh, you should have spoken up sooner. I would have given you a lift. I didn't realize that your glove doesn't levitate.

*applauds the mice*

B4, we can set up right here in this grassy dell. We're out of the wind, we have a grand view of Hootoo Island, and we can see right to the top of the spire.

The older I get, the more phobias I accumulate. I'm not going up there, I'll get terrible vertigo. So anyone who plans to climb can check their baggage here.

*Begins setting out the tea things and decants the bag of custard creams onto a plate*

*Front makes her way down to the grassy area trying not to show how scared she really is* Back uses her VR glove to float along behind*

[Back]: It's a long way down.

[Front]: Gggurrrh!

You know, I don't see all the Cast members yet. (He cranes his neck and stands on tip-toes to survey all the folks milling about.) [Harumph!] Wouldn't you know it! Where's that darn cat?

B4iquoteDisneyagain

**Purr in Boots (sans one boot) comes straggling up the last few steps exhibiting a limping gait, as he has one boot (the one not on his foot) in his left hand. His plume of a bright red feather bobs and bounces with each alternate step. He's chanting a familiar little ditty and marking time with a short stick twitching back and forth in his right hand, though he seems to be straining to keep the melody light.**

[Purr]

Deedle-deedle-dumpling, maiy sson John
Went to bed with his trrouserrs on;
One sshoe off and one sshoe on...

Urrr... Ai believe Ai underrstand now why the young lad may have done sso. Parrdon meow a minute whilsst Ai rremedy a ssmall inconvenience...

**He plunks down on the edge of the ledge, facing away from the gathered group, and begins to dig at the boot in his hand. He pauses momentarily to turn back and glare over his shoulder at the Pantomime Cow.**

[Purr] (philosophizes) If yeou're not the lead elephant, the view neverr changess...

*mournfully, from somewhere near the top of the spiral stairs*

Wooooooooorgh

**Still muttering (light-heartedly) under his breath, one can hear him say: **

[Purr] Sstalking the Pantomime Cow? Sstocking the Queen of Dairy? Iff Ai had been in sstockingss, thiss would have been an even biggerr trravesty! [Harrumph!] <--*working loose a hairball* Where's a pool of waterr now that Ai rreally need one!?