h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sets his Dial-a-Gun to electric shock mode in case*

*Scratches vest to release odour of adrenaline injection straight into the heart, witha side order of ketchup*

*tickles Inky's feet*

*aroma of fried bacon on thickly sliced bread which has been toasted on one side.*
I hope Inky's not vegetarian.

*panic attack continues*

*scratches vest to release aroma of paper bag for Dewey Demon to hold over his mouth and breathe into*
I'll be with you in a minute.
*Scratches vest to reveal smell of Des O'Connor LP being played at full blast*
Do we have nay reactions from Inky yet?

Hang on a mo'

*prods Inky hard with index finger*

No

[Darth Brooks] Here's a SURE-FIRE WAY to determine if he's alive or not! [hefts an axe]

NNNOOOOO...

*leaps towards Darth Brooks' axe in slow motion, panic attack averted through a combination of the paper bag aroma and this shocking development*

...OOOOOOO!!!!!

[Darth Brooks] EEK! [cowers behind the axe]

OOOOOOOOOO...

*grabs hold of the axe's handle*

...OOOOOOOOOOO

*Rises from his position next to Inky and with eyes dark and angry selects mode on his Dial-a-Gun, turns the selector dial to 'Balefire' and fires a maximum strength burst at Red Fox*

*The bolt of Balefire hits Red Fox square in the chest propelling him high and backwards to the far wall of the thread, pinning him spreadeagled there for a moment before he slides to the ground*

*Drawing the sword 'Townsaver' info at A762338 from a scabbard on his back he walks slowly but purposefully towards Red Fox as the sword starts to emit it's characteristic buzzsaw scream*

*covers eyes with the hand that isn't grasping the axe - he really doesn't want to see this*

*scratches vest to release aroma of 'nice cup of tea.'*
That mormally wakes me up!

*with left hand flips the Dial-a-Gun setting to prismatic shield and with the right engages Red Fox with 'Townsaver' which emits a spine-tingling scream*

Do you think he prefers his tea with sugar or without?

Probably with.

Is it safe to look yet?

This is an extremem measure but as the tea hasn't worked I'm going to use a stain from just above the hemline of my vest. It's extremely risky but I think we need to use it.
*Scratches vest to release odour of suspended animation which renders Inky frozen*
He will neither deteriorate or improve now until we can find out what ails him. I think you may need to consult some of your books DD to see what could be up.

*nasty awful sounds coming from the other side of the thread*

(Becomes angry such a sequence of attacks was in action when he was not able to respond >:() (As Redfox is not a hero, and has no invulnerability powers that of which he knows about, The sword bites into his flesh, removing several key limb functions and results in massive sprays of blood. The pain creates an animalistic reaction of Redfox throwing a tremendous ball of magical energy at the figure (Red Dog) leaning over him. Redfox's rage and pain has made the energy ball indeterminate, and it ends up being a conglomeration Of Fire, Water, Electrical, and Poison energies. It effectively burns, shorts out, eats away at, creates a short circuit of, and drenches the 18 1/2 layers of Cliche`d armor Red Dog is wearing, and shorts out his emergency teleporter. The bolt slams him into the wall, knocking the breath out of him and most likely breaking a good number of ribs. The hero gun and sword fall from his hands in pain, and he slumps to the floor. Redfox rises, clutching the shoulder Red Dog hit, blood and some solid matter falling to the floor and seeping through his fingers. Scratches and bruises and other injuries caused by the sword drip, ooze, or smart, depending on the severity.) It's a damn pity you caught me on a bad day, Red Dog. (Redfox leaps at Red Dog, good fist out, as a white ball of energy surrounds it. A concussive Slam is heard, and the two figures slip through the thread wall in a strange ghost like way, in a portal to http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F50725?thread=442426&post=5511779#p5511779.)