h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: THE GERMAN INVASION OF THE USSR - A900064
Author: Atari - U211272

Here is a finished work on the German invasion of the USSR. Hope you like it!

Not bad, i have had a quick read and it is very good. I do have a few comments though:

1. You will need to remove the 1st person (I, we, me, us) in the intro, because the guidelines say entries must be in 3rd person for consistancy.
2. You should mention the Nazi-Soviet Pact which was around before the invasion of Poland.
3. You might be interesting in learning GuideML. It makes entries look nicer. The change this to GuideML, click the GuideML option underneath the edit box and click "Change Style". Then put at the beginning of each para and at the end of each. Put you headers inside and , and for the bullet points at the end use:


1st point
2nd Point
...
last point


You don't have to use GuideML and the subeditor will change it if you don't, but it is useful to learn it.

Keep writing!

Delta

Thanks!

Changed to Guide ML with the help of RhoMuNuQ, U203385.

So please have another look!

On my way...

Tango

Ok, i've flicked through it, but i've had enough of history for now, i only finished my History mock GCSE last week. From what i have read now, i noticed the footnote 1 says "Russia", was it Russia then, or had they changed it to the USSR? Didn't Lenin change it?

Tango

OK, i've mentioned that, but Russia and the USSR are often used to mean the same place and I prefer not to just say -------USSR----------------------USSR------------USSR and so on. OK?

They are the same place, yes, but i think it is quite important that you get the right name for the right years. I will look up when they changed the name.

Tango

Changed to USSR in 1917 and back to Russia in 1991.

Ok, you beat me too it! So it was USSR the whole time that your entry refers to. It's only a little thing, but i thought i'd mention it anyway.

Tango

Thanks for all the advice you've been giving me , its been really helpful. I've gone through the entire thing and changed all 'Russia's' to 'Soviet's' or 'USSR'. If there is anything else you think would help it just tell me!

Do you think its good enough for the edited guide?

Atari; lots of advice here. My first piece is this. Stop submitting things to Peer Review so quickly! Write something, and then change it as much as you possibly can before submitting. Or put it in another Review forum first. There's no rush to get it edited!

Anyway, another potentially great article!

Here's my next lot of advice.

1) Put the first paragraphy in italics...you use to open it and to close it!

2) You don't mention the name of Stalin's spy network. I know there was one, but I can't remember! Go find it out and put it in!

3) "After huge numbers of prisoners were taken and hundreds of thousands of men * killed"
- Put the word "were" in where the * is... and you need to quote solid numbers there too. You can't just say *huge numbers*... Go find it out and put it in! Even if they are only rough estimates, you need actual numbers.

4) You need to capitalise the wphrase "operation typhoon"...so it's "Operation Typhoon"...

5) Put quotation marks around the HItler quote "The God of war has gone over to the other side" and make sure the word "God" is capitalised.

6) My history teacher was very very good at catching me up on my use of language. He told me never to use words like "obvious" when it comes to talking about history.nothing is ever obvious in history. Try replacing the word obvious in the last paragraph with the word "prominent".

7) He also chastised me on my emotive language. Never ever EVER use emotive language when writing about history. It is meant to be a factual unbiased account, no matter what the outcome of the war. Phrases like "doomed millions of people to certain death" and "fearsome" imply bias. Try replacing them with plainer language that doesn't indicate such drama!!

Hope that helps! Keep writing those articles, with lots of discipline and good editing, you are set to produce some really great Guide Entries!!!!!

Well done Atari!!!
4

That's a good load of advice!

I only do it for special people, so use it wisely!

Okay then, go have another look. I followed your advice in most cases except the one about the spy network, as it dosen't strike me as a very important piece of info to find out what its name was.

What if someone writes about Stalins spy network? You need to put a name in there for other people's sake. Also for any potential future links. You need to put in as much information as possible Atari, I'm not just saying it to be difficult. You've seen my first article - you know how detailed it is!!! In my mind, that's exactly how all articles should be!

I'll go and look now.

Get rid of that "brilliant" before the T-34...or I will be forced to hit you with a frozen fish.