h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My Star Wars name would be Halayr Chrkin. But I must say I prefer my porn name, Tiggy Ayres.

William

Hmmm, a good name Halayr Chrkin is, young Jedi.

After some chivvying and constructive criticism from a few people, I've edited my entry, and people have suggested Reggae Names- name of your home town followed by name of first politician you see when you next open a paper or look at television- I'm Cuckfield Letwin, and Mobster Names- name of your favourite body part followed by your favourite Italian food- I'm Lips Spaghetti. Can you think of any more?

I have this theory that Charlton Heston selected his name by sticking two pins into a map of London.

One could, perhaps, choose a Hollywood Film Star name in the same way, by sticking two pins into a map of one's own home town, or county. Thus, a Londoner could become Tottenham Greenwich, a person from New York, Bronx Brooklyn, an inhabitant of Devon, Shaldon Beer...you get the idea.

But I still think yours are more enterprising. I'll have to have a think about producing something more interesting myself!

W.

Excellent! Bit difficult to do in the pub, though. And knowing my luck I'd probably end with the Hollywood name of "Municipal Dump".
I'll give it a go, wait a minute...

Albourne Sharpthorne!

Excellent! Bit difficult to do in the pub, though. And knowing my luck I'd probably end up with the Hollywood name of "Municipal Dump".
I'll give it a go, wait a minute while I find an atlas...

Albourne Sharpthorne!

Grayvon Jorkil and Tinker Saint. Very descriptive... Also, Kilmarnock Blair and Eyes Lasanga, soon to be Abs Lasagna.

Though the gangsta name might turn out some weird combinations - try 'Penis Macaroni', one I suspect will be very common... By the way, I cheated on the Star Wars one - my mother wasn't married, so I have her last name - I used her middle name instead. How about that as a variant?

- Jordan

10/10 for initiative, but my surname is my mother's maiden name, too, so I just used the first two letters then the first three letters- Bebel- because it sounds nice.

Grgra... Gragr... Gragra... No, it doesn't really work for mine! Perhaps a rule about vowels?

- Jordan

No, you can be Gragra. Sounds good.
I just used the first two then the first three because Belbel sounds ridiculous and Bebel sounds cool.
Oh my god, I'm breaking my own rules before even stating!
I DESERVE to be called Belbel.

Howzabout choosing a name for a 1970s cop show?

Try your starsign as a first name, then a hairstyle as a surname.

Examples:

Aquarius Bouffant

Libra Mullet

I appreciate there are only twelve star signs and a limited number of hairstyles, but what the heck!

William (AKA Pisces Beehive)

10-4, Pisces, that makes me Gemini Shag. Wicked.
You could also use your Chinese birth year animal as starsigns are a bit limited, Which would make me Cock Shag, but that's venturing into porno territory again... Let's work out a way to do this...

Might be fun to go for Mills and Boon names (don't know where you're from, but Mills & Boon publish romantic fiction) which tend to be "rugged" for men and rather olde worlde "flowery" for women; eg:

Brent Woodman, Griff Darkling (male, obviously)

Eustacia La Tour, Fleur Liebling (probably female)

OK, so I made those up. But how can we generate them to order?

Will.

P.S. going back to your Chinese idea...

Monkey Bubble
Rat Combover
Dragon Crop
Horse Pigtail...

I think the idea probably needs more work!

W.