The h2g2 Post 01.08.16

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Posted: 1st August 2016

THAT'S What They'd Like You to Believe

A science-fiction-themed mural photographed in Texas by Carol M. Highsmith.

'All through my life I've had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was.'
'No,' said the old man, 'that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.'


Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Yes, friends, like our Founder, we, too, are susceptible to galactic paranoia. Especially in August. It's hot, there are mad politicians everywhere, and the tailback at Dover will drive anybody bonkers. So, to help you get over the summer doldrums, we've concocted the perfect summer reading for the paranoid majority.

This issue.

This week, we bring you incontroverible visual evidence of the Truly Weird. Icy North asks you all to help him caption the photo he captured in London a short while ago. What in the world is going on here? As if that weren't odd enough, Freewayriding was at Manchester Airport, ready to board the plane for sunnier Spain, and snapped these revealing pictures, that no authorities have officially debunked. (Okay, we didn't ask them, but it makes you think.) Cue the spooky music. You won't see these photos anywhere else! We're more cutting-edge than The Onion. (Watch China reprint these.)

The madness does not stop there. We bring you a play that rips the lid off crooked doings in Washington. Take that, WikiLeaks! You will not believe what went on during the 1872 election. Write your congressperson or MP.

In nutritional news, we have a shocking exposé on the charitable food industry in the United States. You will be appalled to learn what they were selling in the Editor's town the other day. And advertising it in front of the Town Hall!

Nigel, of course, has a dissenting view about the latest NASA conspiracy scandal. We think he and those Brightling aliens should be investigated...maybe Major Tim can undertake the task, now that he's back home. Galaxy Babe has the latest real space news.

Willem joins us in the investigative reporting by letting us in on that duplicitous egg-swallowing snake. It actually pretends to be poisonous when it isn't. Which is a pleasant contrast to most politicians we see these days...

Just when you think we couldn't get any crazier, we bring you the latest celebrity gossip: FWR, star of stage, screen, and cutting room floor, dishes on the film industry, while I dole out advice on how to make your next outrageous revelation more readable, in an edge-of-your-seat sort of way. We also quiz you to see just how much your conspiracy knowledge would disappoint Mulder and Scully. In the meantime, we have a great book club offer for you, it you have a time machine handy.

Don't miss any of this, lest you be uninformed when the Men In Black show up. Remember: the truth is out there! And it's h2g2's job to find it and put it in the Post and Edited Guide!

Have a safe summer week! Change your tinfoil hat to straw!

P.S. Create's August challenge involves trains of thought. Which frequently get derailed. The Post Editor is not immune, but we suspect you'd already guessed that.


Dmitri Gheorgheni

FALSE FLAG OPERATIONS
  • Egg Eater by Willem.
  • The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man emerging in Waterloo Station.

THE LONE GUNMEN

h2g2 ABDUCTIONS
An alien complaining to a visiting astronaut about the quality of the trade goods

  • UFOs at the airport.

TRUE AND AMAZING STORIES
GET THE TRUTH OUT THERE
  • A train, and you're thinking about it.
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