h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*The shelves are lined with various tools and scientific gear, along with numerous vials, tomes, and weapons.*

*Mystrunner appears and begins to sketch designs for a massive suit of armour, powered by steam.*

Guymelefs are possibly the future of our existence in a science fiction world...

*The design begins to form, something about nine meters tall and weighing about nine tons.*

Wow, a Reasearch and Development Program do you mind if I lend a hand? I am certain that the Guymelefs will be useful. We could benefit from arming some of those zombies in the Forest. I've always wanted to have a zombie army.

Fine by me. I know the original designs were powered by the blood of the occupant, which provided more power than the new, energist powered variant.

I wonder if we could pull of some sort of cold fusion?

And arming the zombies wouldn't be too bad.

*bumps into the shelf with his nose buried in a book*
"Oh...Sorry guys..I was looking for pie recipies...yeah"

"Just an afterthought Mystrunner...Do Zombies have blood that would power such a suit? They are undead afterall...just a thought...not something a simple Paladin of Feasting would know about"

"I am a Paladin now aren't I?"

Yeah. Yeah, you are. I need to update that, too. So much to do.

We could always use the classic steam driven and hydrolic approach, using fusion power sources...

*Begins to design the armour shell, and some of the hand clockwork.*

It needs to be almost exacly like a human in its abilities. Jumping proably won't be an option, but we could include a flight mode.
I remember seeing one that transformed into a dragon, its cloak becoming the wings and the pilot moving outside of the cockpit to steer while standing on its back.

That would keep the whole Knight feel...

We may be able to find some plans for a perpetual motion device from some of the alchemy books. A couple of spells to encrease efficiency enough to get the designs to work if we can find a vaguely workable design.

*Nods.*

Yes! Perpetual motion would provide all the power we need...

*The outline and basic shape take form, along with a clockwork skeleton underneath.*

We should keep the power source about where the heart would be were it a real soldier... unless someone wants a blood-pact powered one. They do produce more power and are easier to use... but MUCH more painful...

Oh, Fred... Stu is our resident Qu. He knows a lot more than he lets on, and will actually be running things down here. The new applicant will be a sort of cover. Between us.

The new design looks something like this:
http://www.anime.net/escaflowne/images/mecha/asturia/scherazade.gif

We could work on a better design scheme, more angular or more streamlined...

*We'll use this as a production test model.*

*Motions to crews over in the large hanger that The R & D Room overlooks. The Foreman nods and begins shouting orders.*

Probably will take a few days to finish...

*The gantries and scaffolds pull away from the finished Guymelif. Its armour gleams in the sunlight.*

Nice. Very nice.

*Rummages in his cloak, and pulls out a glowing red sphere. Mystrunner walks down to the lift, and decends to the work floor. He quickly climbs up to the power generator, and inserts the energist. The Guymelif begins to whir.*

I'll be taking this on a test run. If we have any malfunctions, we'll fix it in the production model...

*Climbs into the cockpit, and after he gets in the pilot's harness, it seals. With a sound like steel cutting through silk, the Guymelif folds flat into the familiar form of a dragon, and flies out the hanger door, Mystrunner on it's back holding the harness.*

Right, so the prototype will need weaponry at some point. Probably a magical blast weapon and a cross-bow or something similar.

"How about a not-so-innocent roast duck?"

Yes, true...

Let me think...

The original designs used swords or axes, accompanied by, usually, flamethrowers, crossbows, and a specificly odd type of weapon called Crimasteel.

Crimasteel is like mercury, but it can be given commands, (think nanotech). So it can be used like a extendable spear, sword, or hand. The downside is that it is HIGHLY flammable. It was used as flamethrower fuel...

Oh, and Fred, have you got any way as to reverse personalities? Poison Girl has an evil twin mucking about causeing trouble.

*Waves to a forman, who then begins shouting orders.*

I've authorized the construction of two more 'melifs, one for each of you. The Castle is about to go under siege by the Board of Evil and their armies. We need to prepare.

Time to completion... three days. Good luck.

Yo, Myst! I need a particularly evil and dark looking Guymelif. Something similar to Gundam Deathsycthe Hell, but not as advanced.
We'll teach those fools that they can't defeat the Knights!

Maybe we should develop some kind of armored carrier, with weapons and extremely tough armor. It could prove useful.

Yes, good idea...

*Motions forman to start contruction again.*

Any ideas on that topic, Fred? Stu?

"I think that decoys should be made, to throw off their tacticians... I didn't know we were going to be invaded but I just made up a batch of these."

*Whips out a Pudding*
*The Pudding quivers*

"Meet Roy. I created him...he pretty much is hungry most of the time, and he eats what I tell him to eat. He grows too, so a beseiging enemy might not like him...If you get my drift"

Wow...

*Looks at Roy*

Very nice, Stu. The battle will probably be starting here: F87361?thread=211553&post=2418827#p2418827