h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You could use your imagination!!!

We had some nice drizzle today.

Erm... I saw a Vogon over there... do you think they're scouting out something?

I would'nt know, lets ask someone who would:

David Attenborough: ...And now we can see the Vogon alphamale sniffing around looking for a business opportunity or a demolition contract. They em long nose shows that the Vogon is higher up society and the tool he is carrying is for writing things down.

Steve Irwin: Yeah you've got to be really really careful with these guys, one look at their eyes and blam.

*Vogon spots the television presenters, the Vogon starts hurling abuse at them*

Oh no Vogon Poetry... Run!

Gasp! Quick! Put in the earplugs of righteousness!

Ah...there's not a enough earplugs to go around, we're doomed doomed to listen!!!

*Turns on the 'Mute' button on the television.*

I don't know about you but I'm fine.

Fine's pretty subjective, innit?

Confuse them!
Put no entry signs around the place and it will keep them at bay until someone thinks of something

Thats a hoopy piece of thinking...

put entrance signs next to the no entry signs and see what happens

Put up signposts that say 'random people you can bully' and point them at the lake of fire!

Oh no, that Vogon has had enough, he's going home. He might tell all his friends!!!

place an illogic bomb on his ship and it'll take him weeks to get home

Place a real bomb on his ship and he'll never get home.

But illogic bomb will force him and his ship into quarantine which he may not and his ship certainly wouldn't survive

And that will take alot longer than just blowing him to the Nth corners of the universe

Although, the literal bomb has more of a visceral pleasure associated with it

True True.
But consider this kill one and two will replace him.
Injure or incapacitate one ond at least three will have to attend him
You do the maths
They can't hunt if they are too busy tending their 'wounded'