h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*santa looks at battlefield.*

no no no!!!! this will not do!

*santa changes battlefield into a field full of snow, where everything, everywhere is amde of snow.*

to make use of some of the new smilies, this is now a snowball fight!

Hah! I have a new ability! *changes into the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal* Have at you!

Prepares to give her
*is very from the cold which is making her (get it brr - grr )
Then over some
Packs some explosives into her snowball and throws it at Ralph for fun*

What's the deal with the space Smiley?

*looks up and up and up at the vast slavering creature.

gulps

takes a step forward

then jumps on its back and tickles it!!*

The < space > smiley is just that, a space. Like this:







*swipes at Werekitty with Tungsten Carbide claws*

*ducks just in time, then reaches up hand and feels a bit of fur missing, reaches up further and finds a bit of ear missing.*
HEY! Now I look like some mangey stray!
*Grabs loads of exploding and throws them at Ralphs open mouth*

*jumps at WerekittyYou're good in a fight, why don't you join the Terranic army? It's at A814097, tell them I sent you!

Had a Look
*dives under Ralph the BBB to avoid squishing*
I joined up!

*changes into a and flies above whilst eyeing tedwic*

I bet your a bit chuffed you've got your smiley

roarghhhh

*Walks back onto the battlefield, and looks at the fighting figures. If anyone had time to notice, they would have seen the snow melting away from under his feet, and the plants near him beginning to wither and die.*

Private Tosh clumps on to the battlefield after ducking out through a worm hole in his jacket to avoid a small nuclear explosion way back when someone tried to blow up Santa. Tosh is slightly over dressed wearing what appears to be a rather large metal suit. This is in fact an early Christmas present from his uncle at CyberDyne Systems which contains many interesting and potentially amusing methods for dealing death and destruction.

"Ah Mystrunner, we meet again. Prepare to get splatted!"

*Unloads latest gizmo, which turns out to be a large six barrel rotary cannon with twin feeds. Starts the motor ruuning and after a few seconds to let the barrels speed up, starts the feeders. In the Christmas spirit, the hopper is full of ice depleted snowballs , although because I am not that Christmassy they also contain a Flourine based chemical capable of burning its way through poncey nano technology.*

Anyway, better get on with some bits of killing i still have to do. *charges at Tosh, demanding that he say his name.*

Ralph is a were - bugblatter beast right now, I think. So he's kinda stupid.
*throws at Bbb*
hee hee!

*creachy mp awakes from his 4 day nap only to find the battlefield turned to snow! decides the climate is far too cold for any kind of fighting and taps some digits into his mysterious time shifting wristband and dissapears*

*waves goodbye to creachy and throws some daisies at him.
Which in the current rather random style of things subsequently explode*

*sneakely turns back into a llama and fires a Kamino sabre dart at Werekitty*

*is hit in the shoulder and falls to her knees. Pulls out the dart then Grabs some snow and packs it into the wound and binds it with a rag ripped from her clothes*
Ooow! I'll damn well get you for that. And the ear thing!
*throws the dart very hard back at ralph with frightening precision*

*gets hit where it hurts the most* Owwwwwwwwwww, what you do that for!