h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

who's fighting who?

* strings bow and glances menacingly into no mans land *

*Rushes in, stumbles on threshold, staggering through room whilst swinging violently with arms in hope to catch somebody on the chin, b arges head first against wall, and comes nicely to rest o the floor.*

* looks down at dazed body *

Are you ok?

* steps back to give Duke of Dunstable space to rise *

Which alliance are you part of?

*Rises moaning and groaning, and shakes head to scare off tweety birds.*

Thanks. Uhm...not a clue. I just thought I'd barge in for random acts of violence and mayhem. I failed miserably, it seems. What alliances are there? I used to be a member of the Super Heroes, who fought the Evil Villains two years ago. Think I'll fit in anywhere?

Random acts of violence would be a great way of getting things started here. I'm a Knight of h2g2 and we've formed an alliance with the Terranic army. Don't know who we're supposed to be fighting against or who else is around so I'm just generally patrolling at the moment, kind of keeping an eye on things.

Have some and you're welcome to settle in here for a bit until someone works out what's happening.

Do you think this battle is worth it?
Will someone please tell me what is the point of dragging a feud this long?

I thought the point was "for fun, for comedy, for killing time", but I might be mistaken.

This is a new fight not the WW1 thing dragged to a new place!

Well, I don't care. Show me somebody I can pick a fight with.

hey duke, while this thread is waiting for another army to join, how about i fight u in one to one combat?

spook

* waits with herald's stave to referee fight *

Good idea

Right ho, off we go then!

*Approaches Spook in kung-fu fashion, swaying from side to side and with wide open eyes. Early seventies karate-movie sounds emitting from undecided position in the room. With a squeeky "Hiiiyah!" Dunstable throws out his right leg in Spooks general direction, and then spends 30 seconds muttering and trying to extract leg from cupboard.*

*spook pulls out machine gun and fires at duke, however, the gun was from the thundercats so was indeed a toy gun, and only shot plastic ping pong balls in duke's direction.*

*Takes swig of from hipflask, tosses flask to YS*

You know, this is the most peaceful thread I've ever found on H2G2. Most of 'em at least have a bit of throwing or something, but this one... I would feel confident taking my granny on holiday here.

*Growls like the tough mercenary he is, doesn't spit, because it's verboten, but looks as if he really reeeally wants to*

When does the violence begin?

*takes swig of from Legion's flask. Gives him a brisk SLAP!*

Random and violent enough for starters, love? Or shall we take more extreme action?

*tosses flask back to him, as well as a spare crossbow with exploding arrowheads*

.... ...Ahhh there´s the minibar from "The Boardroom Of Evil, Plotting And General Mayhem". Pours a Mary and a ... then looks around, surprised to find himself in the middle of a battlefield WW1-like, with trenches and "ev´ry goddamn thing(ite)".


YS and Mr.L nice to see some familiar faces...Hey you guys about to have a fight...Yummies


What is this place, and can me and my grenade launcher join in, in one of those cosy-looking trenches?

I shall thrash you all within inches of your lifes as soon as this vicious cupboard lets go of my leg.

Argh, I can't feel my toes now!

*Yanks violently, causing plates and saucers on the top shelf to drop down on head and break.*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

NOT THE MINT CONDITION COLLECTABLE PLATES! U R GONNA DIE FOR THIS DUKE!

*spook picks up rocket launcher and fires it at Duke. a foam rocket travels about 2 metres then falls on the ground.*

i wish the thundercats would stop leaving their trashy toy weapons around.

spook

Look, I've found a toy Thundertank