h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't know a lot of techno songs.

Oh doesn't matter they're all the same!

Fair enough.

*puts on "You have been dropped" by "splek", gets his leather coat and gloves and sunglasses and loads his two glocks.*

i'm all set.

*pulls out a rocket launcher*

*desert eagle, a nice suit and a small set of stylish sunglasses. Puts on a sophisticated accent*

Mr Wonder Llama...


*let's give a quick prayer that no-one sues us.*

oh, lord of copyrights, hallowed be thy name.

*starts running up a wall*

Thy monopoly cometh...


*blasts the wall to tiny pieces with a rocket*

*soars through the air while peices of wall fly around him, leaving trails of compressed air behind, takes aim and shoots three times destroying the trigger mechanism on ralphs launcher with the last bullet*

*throws away the launcher and pulls out a grapnel chicken, and uses it to disarm Recklessness*

*takes an overrated and corny kung fu-stance.*

bring on the chicken again if you dare!

I can't, the chicken turned chicken on me. It ran away.



*puts a bullet with an exploding crucifix in Recklessness's head instead*

*pulls the bullet out of his ear*

next time, try it like this.

*loads the bullet in a gun, and fires it at Ralph*

*the bullet completely fails to hit Ralph. In fact, it doesn't come anywhere near*


And how was that an effective demonstration?

i got closer than you did.

*steps away from them both*

I actually hit you, you missed me completely. How is it you got nearer?

all this talking is bull.

*mounts a Harconnen grenade launcheron his shoulder and sends a depleted uranium round on a direct collision course with ralph's left nostril.

*sets up a powerful missile launcher*
I bet this Cruise Missile will stop those kids from messing about...

*catches missile with his teeth*