h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hi thundercats...

sorry it took me so long to come back here; had a few things to sort out with some of my people...

phoenix you might be interested by this newly discovered tiny environmnent friendly gadget of ours: it's called an "itchy-itchy"...

you press that little button there and it propulses minuscule projectiles up to 50 miles...

once these mini-thingies hit an enemy soldier the poor soul will suddenly be overcomed by the need to scratch themselves for hours... they wont be able to handle any kind of weapon during all that time...

the great thing about the itchy-itchy is that it doesn't take much room, you can even carry it in your pocket...

i got 20 spare if you want... both of them are loaded with 10 projectiles... should be more than enough...

i would say regarding that magnificient weapon that size is definitely NOT always important...

loup

Happiness and contentment, plus the need to scratch?

now we know of your itch device we have createn an itch eraser - a cure for the itch. - now ur weapon is usless. maybe u should create a weapon that will actually harm us - not just give us a lttle itch we can erase.

Miniscule projectiles? I guess it could work, it'll be interesting to watch.

Maybe they can give an acupunctur session.

Why not attack the Terran Army with Leather Handbags.
Capture a few of them and torture them with Richard Whitely jokes.

scratching not being harmful?!... we are talking about hours of scratching here hehe... [plus it would have been funny to watch]... the scratching part is only a bonus... the main thing was that no enemy would have been able to handle a weapon...

but anyway that was NOT the best weapon available... there is a better one on its way...

loup

I could not think of anything else. I know that in Doctor Who in one episode (Jon Pertwee) they used stink bombs and it worked! Also they drugged the opostion by putting something in their drink!

i could make a speech...
that should put them to sleep...

loup

u try and make a speech and we'll shoot u.

And don't ever mention Richard Whitely's jokes ever again! Or Carol Vorderman's rehersed response for that matter! The thought is just too... disturbing.

Terran

hehe... twas funny that... considering that during a war people tend to shoot each other.... speech or no speech...

i won't use the one on democracy this time... major proxetty would explode if i was...[now THAT could be interesting]...

oh and spook BTW... even if you shoot me [and if you don't miss of course... hehe]i ALWAYS record ALL my speeches... i got a few hours of them that will be played if you managed to get me [anything is possible i suppose... we never know; one of your men might be able to hit an elephant at ONLY a few meters from them... lol] so i'm afraid it might be a looooong speech for you tomorrow... hehe...

loup

You sick B******...

or battle in a can, that would kinda B funny.
hey phoenix, i didn't know u were a thundercat, YAY!
how long 'til battle BTW?

Well Good, I hope all Thundercats keeps mentioning Richard Whitely and Carol Vorderman banter jokes to you during the battle and it will keep you the Terran Army Very Unnerved and Very Disturbed.

well im the one who introduced it to you moose and btw myst cool it down ok

mmmmmmmm... can't use my speeches: it was seen as too inhumane EVEN for the terranic army... hehe..

gonna have to be richard whiteley's jokes then... lol

mystrun: sorry couldn't hear you with all these lovely stars... but i'm sure it was a compliment you were making...

back in a mo'

loup

ok men. we have a solution to the problem of loup. all people fighting on the side of the terranic army r given a new device. it's an ear plug communicator. it stops u hearing sounds, but allows u to talk and hear stuff from the rest of your army. u will be given one of these the moment u join the battlefield.

General Spook

hi spook...

yep... i'm sure lots of peeps who know me wished they had one of these gadgets... hehe...

if you get a big demand for it from civilians don't be surprised...

actually you might have helped the world be a better place...

loup

i also try and make the world a better place. but to do that the terranic army must defeat the thundercats in battle.

it is now midday. the battle can now commence. *uses itchy-itchy weaponon loup.* how do u feel now that ur own weapon has been used against u.