h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

spook: kinda itchy but it's okay as i've tested it on ourselves first so we are immuned anyway... well kinda... hehe...

(loup hides for a while to scratch an unsightly itching spot...)

loup

BTW spook, "forgot" to tell you about the "Kantmove" gadget...
it works on the same basis that the itcy-itchy one but the difference is that the enemy it paralyses the enemy... [and we're immuned against its effects too... hehe]

now that you can't move (lol) you can tell me more about making the world a better place...

loup

mmmmm... haven't be able to sort out its effect on speech i'm afraid... lol...

u told me about it but u didn't say u used it on me . so, before u have a change *spook uses sleeping potion on loup. loup drops to sleep instantly.* sweet dreams loup.

change=chance. stupid typos.

spook: have you been reading my emails?! (yep... i DO talk in my sleep... lol)...

mmmm... i must have beaten any kind of records there... sleeping on the job after only a few minutes....

[hopefully some of the cool thundercats will come to the rescue and give me something to wake me up... like soon...]

loup

*Drags loup into the Terranic trenches.* 46 minutes and there's already prisoners of war. If the real world war I had been this easy it really would have been over by Christmas.

What do you want us to do with the prisoner Mr. Spook sir?

erm... before any of you makes a drastic decision shall i remind you that i'm asleep [even so i'm still talking... kind of an habit there sorry about that] and that whatever i said before was not meant as it sounded...

loup

prisoners of war tisk tisk

telepathic message to phoenix: it seems that i'm in a kind of situation here...

loup

call me nixxy and eh?

another telepathic message to phoenix: yep, i noticed the S at the end of prisoner... but i thought it might be safer for me not to mention it... hehe...

loup

wow. missed a lot there.
so has the battle actually begun?

yes, the battle has begun. we have a POW (loup). fred, good work. we have put loup in a high security metal box which has a bomb coneted to the locking mechanism. if the wrong code is entered then the bomb will go off. i'm sure u r not willing to risk harming loup. he will be moved to another security protected location later but he is sleeping at the moment so it doesn't really matter where we put him.

*throws some smoke grenades into the enemy trenches. smoke fills the trenches not allowing the enemy to see. sets up a grenade launcher to keep the enemy in the dark*

I will rescue Loup, I do not know how yet, but I am working on it.

u haven't got a change - u don't know where the box with him in is.

change=chance. i made the same bloody mistake twice. i am an idiot.

Ah, glad to see battle underway.

*Surveys scene*

Keep it up soldiers! Now I've got to go back to my wine cabinet... Erm I mean I've got to keep developing strategies. Slight typo there.

Field-Marshall Terran

I will bribe the guards to tell me and take me to his cell by offering them some inducements.

too bad our guards r loyal and if u wouldn't have a chance to bribe them - they'd shoot u first.