h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Come round to our house and get the little b****r who poops on our driveway...oh and get the yapping dog at the same time

HERE HERE! I agree! There is a cat that Sh*** (oops!! )in our garden and chases the birds off my bird table. DOWN WITH CATS!

Wow. Ever considered therapy?
~a lover

Ever considered shooting a cat? Coz the rest of us have! Who is with me on this one? PLEASE guys, back me up here!

TSM.

The two f***ing b****y cats that live next door to me, keep b****y well s****ing in my garden! Every night the little blighters come, I have had to get a f***ing cat scarer thing (which I bet dosent work) which squeiks in my ear all night.

The problem with cats is that they are probably smarter then us. Unlike dogs, whose blind obediance i find to be enlightening. And they can always tell if you don't like them..

hummm... yes that is a catch. KILL ALL

They're intelligent creatures- so?
If you want to dislike cats, then ok, but when reading all the passionate hatred in previous postings, the question 'why???' springs to mind. Dogs are fine, but after a while I just need to be with a creature that knows what it's doing with it's tail and doesn't slobber all over everything in sight.
~

Hey, stop applying to my sense of kindness!

Cats are not smarter than us, the are just annoying attention-seeking unffriendly c***ts. I killed 8 this weekend. You may think that I am joking, I promise you I am not. I ran one over by accident (oh well), shot 4 and found another 3 that I poisoned lying around dead in the street on Sunday morning.

I also ran over a muntjack deer which I felt was a tremendous shame because they are lovely animals, it's just cats that should be publicly executed.

I have bought my sons catapults and given them licence to kill any cats that are found roaming on my land. Danny got his first hit on Sunday which I finished off with my air rifle. I was so happy to see the proud look on his face as he dragged it to the bins leaving a trail of blood on the patio.

You should round them up in little cages and sell them to that Huntingdon Life Sciences place. A slow, agonising death guaranteed!

...or you could sell them to places in eastern europe, as food! It would solve two problems, hunger and get rid of the cats!

Trust me, they can't do anything to make them suffer more than I do!

exept kill (in a long, drawn-out way) them, because I presume that your not atchaly dead yet?

My dog tried to eat a cat once, but it got away.

Please. I torture the c***s. There's no scientific benefit in what I do, I just hurt them tremendously. Ever seen a cat cry for half an hour after having its front legs cut off?

No, but I'm sure I'll be dreaming about it tonight, thanks!

Why dream when you can make it a reality! Your dreams can come true and you'd better believe it.

Start by torturing a cat in an indescribable way and you will soon find that the world is your oyster.

I may have to start off small, with hamsters or guinea pigs, and work my way up, for I fear the little buggers would get the better of my hesitant nature.